Bully

I keep meaning to write a post about this subject, and now I finally found time to actually sit down and do it.

I was bullied as a kid. Probably not what would be considered more then normal, but bullied all the same. Girls are so brutal. In elementary school I was one of the tallest people in every class, taller then almost every other boy, and I had such a strong love and passion for horses. I started riding lessons when I was 10, and anyone that knows me knows that I have what can be tamely put "the gift of the gab". I loved talking about horses and about my lessons to anyone that would listen. In grade 7 & 8, I was friends with 2 other girls that were apart of a "group" of other girls. It was a large group, and I tended to be on the quiet side when in large groups. I have no idea what started it, I just remember at some point I was referred to as "horse girl" and things just escalated from there. It was so stupid. My best friend at the time also loved horses, also took riding lessons and even owned a horse before I did, and no one said anything to her. Just me. It progressively got worse, to the point that I dreaded recess. The boys caught on too and they also joined in the "fun" of making fun of the girl who loved horses. It somehow escalated to my classmates claiming that all I would ever accomplish in life is being a "squigie girl" that lived on the streets and cleaned car windows for coins. I have no idea what I did to make others believe that is all I would achieve in life, but they sure were ruthless in telling me over and over! Once we all got to grade 9, it just got so much worse. I remember not being able to walk down a hallway without someone making fun of me, about something random. I remember the same group of girls I went to elementary school with, along with others, gathering around me in a hallway in a semi circle as I backed into a corner and they insulted me. I hated lunch time because finding a spot in the cafeteria where I didn't sit alone or with a group of people that obviously had so much hate for me (for no reason) seemed impossible. I ended up changing schools after my grade 9 year and ended up going to a neighboring catholic highschool for the last 3 years. I loved it there, was immediately accepted for who I was, love for horses and all, and made lots of friends. I achieved high grades with minimal effort, people that found out I owned a horse would respond with "That's so cool, what's his name?" and I don't think I was humiliated once for the rest of highschool.

My grade 9 year I was in a dark place. I was lonely, sad, embarassed, and really really angry. I was mad that people that I considered friends never stood up for me, and allowed me to endure verbal torture at the hands of my peers.

Now I'm in my mid-twenties and when I hear about all the bullying going on in our schools it breaks my heart. The teen suicide rate seems to be higher then ever and each teen that takes their own life due to bullying is another failure on us as a society. My parents raised me to accept everyone, to never be mean to someone because of what they believe or how they look and to stand up for things we believe in. As a parent now, I know that even if I instill those beliefs in my own children, there is a really good chance that they will be bullied for something. While we plan on homeschooling for the elementary years, Stuart and I would still like both our boys to attend highschool. I know that I will certainly be doing all I can to prepare them for not only academic challenges they may face, but for the social ones they will face as well. I hope to raise both my boys to stand up for someone that is being bullied, no matter how funny looking they are, what their beliefs are or what religion or ethnicity. I will raise them with the belief that by allowing others to treats peers like dirt, they are also treating that individual like dirt.

Our world lacks compassion in most aspects. The only way we can change that is to show compassion for our "weaker" classmates and help them avoid that feeling of loneliness. If we raise our children to be compassionate and kind then we will be raising a society of individuals that don't poke fun at someone because they believe something.

The statistics have become astounding in schools. It makes me very angry that there are those that believe bullying is a "rite of passage" and it "builds character". No one should be made to feel lonely, sad or angry and like they need to end their life to feel at peace or escape.

I firmly believe in the mantra that "it gets better". I am absolutely living proof and there are so many others as well. Highschool (and even elementary school) is such a small part of life. The girls that bullied me in elementary school and into highschool still live in around my city, and every once in a while I see them. The worst offender, the ultimate "mean girl", at my school, has accomplished nothing positive in her life. I'm honestly not even sure if she graduated highschool. Last I heard, she worked minimum wage at a retail store and was in trouble fairly consistently with the law.

There was a movie released in the States that I've really been wanting to watch. I think I'm going to get Stuart to get it for us to watch this weekend. It has created a large anti-bully movement and has really shed light on what needs to change in our schools. Here's the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUy2ZWoStr0