I went out to the barn yesterday for the first time since December 23rd and rode. Dusty met me at the gate, happy to see me (I was even a little suspicious, because this NEVER happens). I think he actually missed me! I used to go long periods without seeing him, because of pregnancy and not having a vehicle, and now I can barely make it a week before I miss him and feel incredibly guilty.
I've been writing a progress report about each ride since mid November. I vaguely think while updating it that I should write about some of the times with him over the last 9 years. It would be nice to read when I'm old and Dusty is long gone. I barely remember some of our early rides together. I started thinking about my relationship with him for the last 9 years, because a friend has been having a difficult time with her stubborn gelding and I told her "don't worry, it gets better" and even said "the victory of accomplishing something you've been working for is that much sweeter when you have a stubborn and difficult horse!". Not that Dusty is "difficult", he's just ridiculously stubborn. He and I used to have lots of battles over the silliest things. I remember him resisting and blocking his jaw when I was just walking in the indoor arena and trying to get him to bend to the inside at the walk. It resulted in a 3 hour ride, which was the ultimate test of who was more stubborn. We never actually got anywhere in these fights. Now, I will ask him for something and if he seems confused by my aids, or I'm not 100% sure we are doing it right, I just pat him and move on to something else.
For example, yesterday we did some turn on the haunches.... which we are awesome at every single time.... but I thought "lets try some turn on the forehand!". I'm not as sure of the aids for it and while he managed to go halfway while pivoting on his forehand, the rest of the way we just went sideways. I just chuckled and patted his neck and moved on to something else. We also went out into the back fields for a winter hack and did some cantering in the fresh snow. It was such a nice day for it! We had lots of fun and while Dusty wanted really badly to gallop and be a goof, he listened to me and never did anything I didn't ask for. We went back to the arena and went to do some canter work after, and he did so so SO well! He really responds to praise, and the more you tell him he's a good boy, the better he does and the harder he tries. He did a flying lead change without becoming disunited (which is rare, because most of the time he seems to forget he has a bum) and so I told him he was a good boy, and then closed my inside fist to ask him to become soft and round, and he RESPONDED by doing so! This is a small victory for most other riders, but for me, it was so much more! I then told him again "good boy!" only for him to become rounder and softer. He then did 3 more flying changes for me, all perfectly.
It's so nice to look back on my relationship with Dusty, and despite the fights and the ups and downs, we seem to have come such a long way. He's seems to understand that I am now making him a priority, and he in turn is trying so much for me. I also think I'm looking at how I ask for things differently, because at the end of the day, my relationship with my horse is so much more important to me then fighting with him over an inside bend at the walk.
I think a lot of my strengthened bond with him has to do with Mattie. I've blogged about him previously and think about him all the time. That whole experience was traumatizing and horrible, but so much good has come from it. Because of his tragic accident that ended his life, I now take such joy in the little things. I stop and pause while I'm at the barn and am so thankful I have a horse that is so good and has so much heart and he's MINE. I always take time to say goodbye to Dusty, and I stand at the gate and watch him walk away. He's even started the habit of going to get something to drink, then he comes back to me at the gate, nudges me goodbye, then walks towards his friends. It's a sweet routine that I love. No matter how much of a rush I'm in to get home to the kids (because usually I lose track of time and have to hurry to feed Finn), I ALWAYS stop and take that moment.
So thanks Mattie, I owe my renewed closeness with Dusty and our special relationship, to you. You taught me so much about myself and about my big chestnut gelding. I'll never ever forget all that I've learned from that horrible day we lost you.
I also wanted to share the exact moment that I decided my horse was going to be mine forever and never go to another home.
I bought Dusty when I was 15, and I was *just* starting to notice boys. I made it out to the barn twice a week even after I started dating my first boyfriend (a feat I'm pretty proud of!) and while I loved Dusty, I never thought far enough ahead to say "I'll never sell him". 8 months into my relationship with my first boyfriend, he broke up with me and started dating a close friend of mine. I was heartbroken. I went to the barn one summer day and as I walked across the grass paddock towards Dusty I started to cry. I got to Dusty, who was grazing away, and I hugged his neck. He stopped eating, didn't try to wiggle away from me once, and just let me stand there. He nuzzled my back while I cried into his neck and gave a sympathetic ear to a teenage girls heartbreak. I poured my heart out to him, while he stood and faithfully let me. From that moment on, he and I decided that he would be mine forever. I get teary eyed when I think of that day, not because of the stupid boy that wasn't worth the tears, but because I really had no idea how lucky I was back then to have such an amazing horse. Over the years, he's continued to give me a sympathetic ear, without fail, whenever I'm having a bad day.
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