I used to be a big fan of revenge. Ask any one of my ex-boyfriends. (Ha!)
It used to make me feel so much better.
Becoming a mom changed me though, and I see things a little differently.
Maybe this comes across as being a bit naive, but I just can't help but share. I hope I can teach my boys this philosophy as well.
Remember the Dr Seuss book, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", when the Grinch goes around Whoville and takes all the Christmas presents and decorations from the Who houses? The Who's wake up and come together regardless of there being no presents and they hold hands and sing and are just happy to have one another.
When you hear the news about how one nation is at war with another nation because X nation did THIS to nation Y etc etc etc... at what point will it stop? If you look at the war on terrorism, President Bush came out 9/11 and said "they will pay". But to what extent? There have been FAR MORE Afghanistan and Iraq citizens killed since that day then US citizens. (116,657 Iraqi civilians, not including soldiers or Afghan citizens, 66,077 American's killed since 9/11 in total, source: Wikipedia) Every war is the same. We are LITERALLY teaching our children that it is okay to retaliate when someone does something wrong to you.
While I know this is a complicated issue that has many more complexities to it, I feel like the basis of it was approached all wrong. It has been with every war.
My grandfather was in the Navy during WW2, and enlisted illegally while underage. While I grew up proud that he fought to make sure I am free and all continuing generations are free, my viewpoint of the military system during present events has drastically changed. I don't support it. We send soldiers to a war that isn't ours that has gone on YEARS too long only to be injured (physically or mentally), then they come home with the expectation that the military will help them back on their feet only to find that no, they do not. So much for thanks! It's sad. And not many people are aware. Every Remembrance Day ceremony is a SCAM. I stand up and remember those that were lost in a stupid war for no freaking reason and left so many families broken. I stand up and I think about all the veterans that are living on the streets, struggling every single day with PTSD and who are receiving NO HELP from our government. I think about my grandfather and how disgusted he would be. Because he would be.
Yeah, I realize now I should probably have a flame suit on. I'm sure I'll be called un-patriotic for this post, blah blah blah.
What happened to peace?
"An eye for an eye will make the whole world go blind". -Ghandi
*end rant, zips up flame suit*
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Self-Care
I've recently learned a valuable lesson. As a busy mom, I put my children before myself. When they are hungry, I make them food and most of the time forget to feed myself. By the time I remember, I end up eating my meal standing up or between feeding bites to the baby. Or over a nursing baby. When we go out somewhere, more often then not my children are clean, well dressed, clean diapers, bag of "baby stuff" is packed and I have my shopping list.... but am I ready? Nope! I've had a few close calls of *almost* walking out the door in my pajamas. Without brushing my hair (and usually, I don't care enough to run upstairs and brush it... inevitably THAT is when I see someone I know while out!) or brushing my teeth. I think so many mom's can relate.
The valuable lesson though, is that I NEED to take that time for myself. Sometimes I'm dead tired, but I still manage to brush my teeth, wash my face, put together an outfit (sometimes I don't even wear yoga pants!) and EVEN put makeup on. I always feel so much better for it.
Eventually, I learned to do even more for myself.
You know that feeling of relief, of "ahhhhhh, YES!" when you put your freshly bathed babes down for the night and they fall soundly asleep? Instead of watching TV and eating junk food, I sit on the floor and do some gentle stretching, yoga and pilates, followed by some deep breathing and something I discovered called The Tapping Solution (link to follow). Then I'd drink a green tea. Sometimes, depending on the day, a glass of good red wine. Sure, I'd be staying up a bit later, and all those things exerts more energy then what I used to do (lying on the couch eating junk food)... but you know what? I'd fall asleep faster, sleep sounder. I'd wake up feeling more refreshed. I smiled faster at my children and random strangers, and most importantly, I learned to let go of stress MUCH faster. I also have far more energy throughout the day then before.
It is perfectly natural to forget to care for yourself when you have children. There is nothing wrong with that. Children take up so much attention and it's easy to forget yourself as a priority. What I've discovered, is that I am a better mother (and wife!) when I make myself a priority. I'm happier, calmer, more patient and relaxed. It doesn't mean you have to stay up until 1am working out, meditating, painting your nails etc. It's just about finding the beauty in the doing the simple things ALONE. Take your time showering. Do a face mask before getting in the shower. Make yourself a special healthy snack. Meditate. Watch a girly movie. Drink a green tea. Whatever makes you happy! If you find it hard to remember, set the alarm on your phone. Put sticky notes on the mirror. Just do it! MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY!!!
Here is a link to a simple and quick guide to Tapping Out. It's really great for releasing stress and giving you a sense of calm after a hard and long day. http://gabbyb.tv/vlogging/how-to-reduce-stress
The valuable lesson though, is that I NEED to take that time for myself. Sometimes I'm dead tired, but I still manage to brush my teeth, wash my face, put together an outfit (sometimes I don't even wear yoga pants!) and EVEN put makeup on. I always feel so much better for it.
Eventually, I learned to do even more for myself.
You know that feeling of relief, of "ahhhhhh, YES!" when you put your freshly bathed babes down for the night and they fall soundly asleep? Instead of watching TV and eating junk food, I sit on the floor and do some gentle stretching, yoga and pilates, followed by some deep breathing and something I discovered called The Tapping Solution (link to follow). Then I'd drink a green tea. Sometimes, depending on the day, a glass of good red wine. Sure, I'd be staying up a bit later, and all those things exerts more energy then what I used to do (lying on the couch eating junk food)... but you know what? I'd fall asleep faster, sleep sounder. I'd wake up feeling more refreshed. I smiled faster at my children and random strangers, and most importantly, I learned to let go of stress MUCH faster. I also have far more energy throughout the day then before.
It is perfectly natural to forget to care for yourself when you have children. There is nothing wrong with that. Children take up so much attention and it's easy to forget yourself as a priority. What I've discovered, is that I am a better mother (and wife!) when I make myself a priority. I'm happier, calmer, more patient and relaxed. It doesn't mean you have to stay up until 1am working out, meditating, painting your nails etc. It's just about finding the beauty in the doing the simple things ALONE. Take your time showering. Do a face mask before getting in the shower. Make yourself a special healthy snack. Meditate. Watch a girly movie. Drink a green tea. Whatever makes you happy! If you find it hard to remember, set the alarm on your phone. Put sticky notes on the mirror. Just do it! MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY!!!
Here is a link to a simple and quick guide to Tapping Out. It's really great for releasing stress and giving you a sense of calm after a hard and long day. http://gabbyb.tv/vlogging/how-to-reduce-stress
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Meat Party
A friend and I were talking recently about how difficult it can be as a veggie (either vegetarian or vegan) to go to parties. With or without kids, it can pose a challenge.
Typically if we get invited to a summer BBQ or birthday party, those that are our close friends plan on having veggie snacks there, and usually even have a few veggie burgers to throw on the grill for us.
But what about when Gage starts school in September and we delve into the world of being invited to kids parties? We have been invited to parties where we ended up not eating anything, and we unfortunately had to learn that some people just aren't accommodating and find our lifestyle to be "silly" and just don't give a shit about having food we can eat.
When I was pregnant with Finn, we had our gender revealing party at our house and all the food was vegan. People LOVED it. We didn't tell most of them it was vegan until after the party, and so many of them were surprised. I think my biggest problem right now is when we go to a kids birthday party and the cake is store bought and full of dairy and sugar. I want to let my children indulge sometimes (They will definitely be going out for Halloween!) but because they aren't used to eating so much sugar and dairy in one sitting... and poor quality dairy and sugar at that... it just overwhelms their system.
I'm lucky that we have a family of close friends that planned so thoughtfully for us to attend their son's party. The cake was dairy, egg and sugar free (and delicious!) and they had veggie burgers for us, that they not only made for us but also kept separate from the rest of the meat on the grill.
So how do you deal at a party? Make sure when you accept an invitation, whether it be online or in person, you ask them if there will be meat-free items (or whatever else your diet restricts) available for you to eat. If you don't know for sure about what will be there, eat before going. When it comes to a sit down meal with friends at someone's house, offer to help plan a veggie meal, or even help prepare it, just so you can feel comfortable about attending and give the host a break from trying to feed a veggie (not that it is REALLY that hard!)
Most of my closest friends now are transitioning to eating healthier (one of the perks of knowing me, I guess!) and this includes eating less meat, sugar, dairy and eggs.
Another challenge we've faced in the past, is when we have people over for a get together and they ask if we can have meat for them. The point being "if I have to make veggie dishes when you come to our parties, you should make meat for me when we come to your house!". My answer is no, no I don't. I can guarantee comfortably that whatever veggie meal I make for a party will taste as good as if not better then your average meat-filled meal. I also kind of think of it as if asking a person allergic to peanuts to have peanut butter at their party for those not allergic to it.
When it comes to Gage (and eventually Finn) attending birthday parties for kids at school, I plan on RSVP-ing and letting the parents know that they are veggie. While Gage is still at this age, I know parents usually attend the party with their child. By the time he is old enough to go without me, he will know himself to request meat free, sugar free, dairy free and egg free dishes.
Here is a link to a book on Amazon I plan on buying for my boys soon, I think it is a great idea to explain to them that we don't eat animals.
http://www.amazon.ca/Thats-Why-Dont-Eat-Animals/dp/1556437854/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1374070196&sr=8-1&keywords=why+we+don%27t+eat+animals
Typically if we get invited to a summer BBQ or birthday party, those that are our close friends plan on having veggie snacks there, and usually even have a few veggie burgers to throw on the grill for us.
But what about when Gage starts school in September and we delve into the world of being invited to kids parties? We have been invited to parties where we ended up not eating anything, and we unfortunately had to learn that some people just aren't accommodating and find our lifestyle to be "silly" and just don't give a shit about having food we can eat.
When I was pregnant with Finn, we had our gender revealing party at our house and all the food was vegan. People LOVED it. We didn't tell most of them it was vegan until after the party, and so many of them were surprised. I think my biggest problem right now is when we go to a kids birthday party and the cake is store bought and full of dairy and sugar. I want to let my children indulge sometimes (They will definitely be going out for Halloween!) but because they aren't used to eating so much sugar and dairy in one sitting... and poor quality dairy and sugar at that... it just overwhelms their system.
I'm lucky that we have a family of close friends that planned so thoughtfully for us to attend their son's party. The cake was dairy, egg and sugar free (and delicious!) and they had veggie burgers for us, that they not only made for us but also kept separate from the rest of the meat on the grill.
So how do you deal at a party? Make sure when you accept an invitation, whether it be online or in person, you ask them if there will be meat-free items (or whatever else your diet restricts) available for you to eat. If you don't know for sure about what will be there, eat before going. When it comes to a sit down meal with friends at someone's house, offer to help plan a veggie meal, or even help prepare it, just so you can feel comfortable about attending and give the host a break from trying to feed a veggie (not that it is REALLY that hard!)
Most of my closest friends now are transitioning to eating healthier (one of the perks of knowing me, I guess!) and this includes eating less meat, sugar, dairy and eggs.
Another challenge we've faced in the past, is when we have people over for a get together and they ask if we can have meat for them. The point being "if I have to make veggie dishes when you come to our parties, you should make meat for me when we come to your house!". My answer is no, no I don't. I can guarantee comfortably that whatever veggie meal I make for a party will taste as good as if not better then your average meat-filled meal. I also kind of think of it as if asking a person allergic to peanuts to have peanut butter at their party for those not allergic to it.
When it comes to Gage (and eventually Finn) attending birthday parties for kids at school, I plan on RSVP-ing and letting the parents know that they are veggie. While Gage is still at this age, I know parents usually attend the party with their child. By the time he is old enough to go without me, he will know himself to request meat free, sugar free, dairy free and egg free dishes.
Here is a link to a book on Amazon I plan on buying for my boys soon, I think it is a great idea to explain to them that we don't eat animals.
http://www.amazon.ca/Thats-Why-Dont-Eat-Animals/dp/1556437854/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1374070196&sr=8-1&keywords=why+we+don%27t+eat+animals
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Healthy Image
It's been a few weeks since I had a moment to post something, moving is definitely not something I want to relive anytime soon! Now that we are settled (somewhat) into our new house, I thought I'd write a post about something that I feel is important or should be important to all mom's.
I want to talk a little about diets.
As I've mentioned previously, my mom was a SAHM for just shy of 17 years. When I was a kid, probably around 8-ish years old, I remember my mom dieting. She tended to join Weight Watchers for a few months, lose some weight, then stop attending the meetings. I remember some of her Weight Watchers dinners that we were all served, some yummy and some not-so-yummy, and while I know she tried to keep how she felt about her body away from my younger sister and I, it inevitably affected me.
She never described herself as "fat" or used any derogatory terms, but she would buy "Women's World" magazines with claims like "Lose 30 pounds by Christmas!" etched across the cover, she would watch Entertainment Tonight in the evenings and she NEVER EVER wore a dress or a bathing suit. Not in my memory at least.
As I was entering into high school, she joined Weight Watchers again and lost more weight then she ever had previously. No matter how much weight she lost, it never seemed to change how she felt about herself.
There's an article I read recently that was written by an adult daughter to her mother after just having her own daughter and I found it so empowering.
As children, we all think our mom is the most beautiful creature on earth. She loves us, comforts us, soothes our fears, makes us meals, plays with us and takes care of us when we are sick. At some point in childhood, we suddenly become aware that our mom thinks she is ugly, fat, unworthy and wishes she could change her body. Be skinnier. Then we look at ourselves, as young girls that tend towards awkward pre-teen body-esteem issues, and so begins the cycle of poor self-esteem and negative body image.
While we can't always control the media outlets and how they control the trends of what is beautiful and what isn't, we can absolutely control what our children know as beautiful and real. I don't have a biological daughter, but I have watched this horrible cycle begin to raise it's ugly head in my step daughter and it makes me sad. Whether we are the mother's to daughters or sons we should be teaching our children that HEALTH is beautiful. While those adopting the diet programs that have become so popular in North America have good intentions, it tells our children that we are not satisfied with our body. It makes so much more sense to adopt healthy habits and embrace our body. Diet programs are designed to assist in losing weight, but they do not give you the self esteem you lost somewhere along the way.
I've talked before about how much I love my stretch marks from my pregnancies and am not afraid to show them. This just goes a step further. I don't want either of my boys to become self conscious, or judge someone that isn't societies version of "beautiful" just because they want to wear a bathing suit at the beach. It's about feeling comfortable in our bodies and encouraging our children to do the same. Statistics show that 81% of 10 year old girls are afraid of being fat. 51% of 9 and 10 year old girls feel better about themselves when they are on a diet.
Let's all set a positive, healthy example for our children so they can grow to be healthy, strong, and their own version of beautiful.
Here's a link to the beautiful article I read that inspired this post: http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/8760102/When-your-mother-says-shes-fat
I want to talk a little about diets.
As I've mentioned previously, my mom was a SAHM for just shy of 17 years. When I was a kid, probably around 8-ish years old, I remember my mom dieting. She tended to join Weight Watchers for a few months, lose some weight, then stop attending the meetings. I remember some of her Weight Watchers dinners that we were all served, some yummy and some not-so-yummy, and while I know she tried to keep how she felt about her body away from my younger sister and I, it inevitably affected me.
She never described herself as "fat" or used any derogatory terms, but she would buy "Women's World" magazines with claims like "Lose 30 pounds by Christmas!" etched across the cover, she would watch Entertainment Tonight in the evenings and she NEVER EVER wore a dress or a bathing suit. Not in my memory at least.
As I was entering into high school, she joined Weight Watchers again and lost more weight then she ever had previously. No matter how much weight she lost, it never seemed to change how she felt about herself.
There's an article I read recently that was written by an adult daughter to her mother after just having her own daughter and I found it so empowering.
As children, we all think our mom is the most beautiful creature on earth. She loves us, comforts us, soothes our fears, makes us meals, plays with us and takes care of us when we are sick. At some point in childhood, we suddenly become aware that our mom thinks she is ugly, fat, unworthy and wishes she could change her body. Be skinnier. Then we look at ourselves, as young girls that tend towards awkward pre-teen body-esteem issues, and so begins the cycle of poor self-esteem and negative body image.
While we can't always control the media outlets and how they control the trends of what is beautiful and what isn't, we can absolutely control what our children know as beautiful and real. I don't have a biological daughter, but I have watched this horrible cycle begin to raise it's ugly head in my step daughter and it makes me sad. Whether we are the mother's to daughters or sons we should be teaching our children that HEALTH is beautiful. While those adopting the diet programs that have become so popular in North America have good intentions, it tells our children that we are not satisfied with our body. It makes so much more sense to adopt healthy habits and embrace our body. Diet programs are designed to assist in losing weight, but they do not give you the self esteem you lost somewhere along the way.
I've talked before about how much I love my stretch marks from my pregnancies and am not afraid to show them. This just goes a step further. I don't want either of my boys to become self conscious, or judge someone that isn't societies version of "beautiful" just because they want to wear a bathing suit at the beach. It's about feeling comfortable in our bodies and encouraging our children to do the same. Statistics show that 81% of 10 year old girls are afraid of being fat. 51% of 9 and 10 year old girls feel better about themselves when they are on a diet.
Let's all set a positive, healthy example for our children so they can grow to be healthy, strong, and their own version of beautiful.
Here's a link to the beautiful article I read that inspired this post: http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/8760102/When-your-mother-says-shes-fat
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Happily Married
While Stuart and I haven't been married long (3 years this November), I'm able to safely say that we have a solid marriage. I also feel like over the years we've been together, I've been able to compile a list of what to do and not to do in a marriage and ways you can improve your married life. Or at least what works for us. Seeing as your partner is someone that you live with and are "stuck" with for the rest of your life, I think we can all agree that it is a constant work in progress. We are constantly evolving as we age and go through life experiences, which means our relationships also evolve and change. Here are some observations I've made, not only in my own marriage, but in observing others.
...And no, my husband does not know I'm writing this, hehe!
10 Steps to Being Happily Married
10. Love and respect yourself first. You can't expect someone to love you for who you are if you don't! This is so much more common then people think.
9. Never EVER EVER EVER talk negatively about your spouse. EVER. I don't care if it is to your mom, your BFF, a priest or ANYONE. Just don't. It will always come back to you and afterwards you will ALWAYS feel guilty. Loyalty is sexy, even if you're mad as hell. My parents are guilty of doing this, and I learned it specifically from them and make sure I DON'T do the same. I know, I just ratted out my mom and dad. Sorry.
8. No name-calling. No matter how angry you are at your spouse, refrain from name-calling when arguing with him/her. It's demoralizing to the other person, below the belt, and just overall damaging to the relationship.
7. Don't sweat the small stuff/pick your battles. Yes, my husband LOVES to track mud through the house with his workboots. ALWAYS after I vacuum. It's not cool. Yes, I clean it up. USUALLY I don't comment. You know why? Because I make a mess in the kitchen when I cook, and he cleans it up. He USUALLY doesn't comment either. He also NEVER changes the toilet paper roll. I always discover this too late. It sucks. I used to take the empty roll and chuck it at him, wherever he was in the house. Now I just change it. He also gets toothpaste all over the bathroom mirror when he brushes his teeth. It drives me CRAZY. But at the end of a long work week, he comes home from a week away working really hard and he plays with the boys and gives them baths and does the bedtime routine. Or he gets up early the next morning with them to let me sleep. So I let it go.
6. It's okay to tease and be sarcastic. It's not okay to do so at the expense of the other person's emotions. There is a line, and seeing as it is your spouse that you live with and know so well, the other spouse usually knows where that line exists. Just don't cross it. If they do, make sure you voice that your feelings are hurt. It's okay to come down to that level and admit that you didn't like something they said. This way, not only will it not happen in the future, but it will also keep the "airwaves" open- and talking about how you feel is far more important then most husbands (sorry guys) are willing to admit.
5. Make a point to ask the other how his/her day was! This is something that I will openly admit I have a hard time remembering. Stu has a hard job and works long hours. It's physically testing, and mentally tiring. I stay home with 2 crazy kids and some days I feel like I'm ready to rip my hair out. It's important to ask on those days how the other is doing, because respecting the responsibilities your spouse has and validating that they work hard can make a HUGE difference. I always feel so much more capable when Stu acknowledges how hard MY job is.
4. Trust and faith. This is also something I have a hard time with! I'm a little bit of a control freak (only a little), and I tend to do all the organizing and planning in the family. My desk as I write this is littered with my "lists" for various activities and I'm pretty well known for my "list ridiculousness". Stu is a "fly-by-my-seat" sorta guy, and is perfectly okay with things being planned for him. As previously posted, we are moving (a week today!) and while Stu has been away all month long, I've been organizing the move. I finally had a massive overflowing plate, so I decided to pass some things off to Stu. I told him to find a moving truck. While I keep feeling this nagging doubt that he won't find something and will fail miserably, I also know that he has never let me down. I know he'll find something, because I asked him to and because he's awesome. And just because.
3. Make time for dates! I stress this a lot, but mostly because I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old and Stuart and I haven't been on a date in a really really long time. We make a point to have a "home date" on weekends, where we make really yummy snack food and watch a new movie. We also need to get out more. Sometimes relaxing without kids can relieve stress from work, kids, finances, and any other responsibilities It reminds us why we ended up together in the first place.
2. Romance is NOT dead. Don't even get me started. This goes both ways, and should not be put solely on the guy! It's a 50/50 job! I have a very "unromantic" husband by most "standards" (and by "standards" I mean Hollywood, lol). He doesn't make a point to plan candle light dinners and plan dates for us, but mostly because I'M a control freak and plan everything for us. He is really good at picking presents for birthdays and Christmas, and really thoughtful when it comes to gift giving. He says really sweet things that even 5 years into our relationship make me blush like a schoolgirl! I rag on him sometimes for not being romantic enough, but really, he's romantic enough by MY standards.
1. Lastly and MOST importantly, communicate! It's so important to talk! I know, I'm a girl, and any man that just read that literally rolled their eyes. But it IS true. Stu and I actually don't fight often, we have heated conversations, but usually it's because we are both upset about the same thing and on the same "side" in the "argument" and just venting. The few times we have had "fights" (and I should definitely iterate that fighting in a relationship is HEALTHY), he fights like how I would call, a typical man. It drives me a little nuts. After 5 years, he seems to slowly get that it's really important for us to talk it out and solve our issues. Generally in a fight, Stu walks away (while muttering, or yelling) and yells from another room. He so rarely "fights" with me face to face unless I corner him (literally, physically corner him). He also raises his voice REALLY early in any "argument". It also seems that no matter how big of a fight we have, he is perfectly capable of rolling over in bed and going to sleep while I lay there fuming while I toss and turn all night long. Actually, not all night. I usually end up waking him. And making him talk more. I can't not resolve things quickly. Maybe that isn't healthy, but it's my "fighting style". Stu finally seems to be catching on. The way I see it, is that I just don't want to leave things angry and then have him go away for a week of work while we aren't talking. I always think what if something happens to him and that is the last conversation we ever have? I don't want the last conversation we have to be out of anger, I want the last thing to have been said between us was "I love you, have a good week".
While I know this list is pretty vague, and Stuart and I haven't been married long, these key basics work for us. I think I'll come back and re-do this list after we've been married for 30+ years and see what has changed!
...And no, my husband does not know I'm writing this, hehe!
10 Steps to Being Happily Married
10. Love and respect yourself first. You can't expect someone to love you for who you are if you don't! This is so much more common then people think.
9. Never EVER EVER EVER talk negatively about your spouse. EVER. I don't care if it is to your mom, your BFF, a priest or ANYONE. Just don't. It will always come back to you and afterwards you will ALWAYS feel guilty. Loyalty is sexy, even if you're mad as hell. My parents are guilty of doing this, and I learned it specifically from them and make sure I DON'T do the same. I know, I just ratted out my mom and dad. Sorry.
8. No name-calling. No matter how angry you are at your spouse, refrain from name-calling when arguing with him/her. It's demoralizing to the other person, below the belt, and just overall damaging to the relationship.
7. Don't sweat the small stuff/pick your battles. Yes, my husband LOVES to track mud through the house with his workboots. ALWAYS after I vacuum. It's not cool. Yes, I clean it up. USUALLY I don't comment. You know why? Because I make a mess in the kitchen when I cook, and he cleans it up. He USUALLY doesn't comment either. He also NEVER changes the toilet paper roll. I always discover this too late. It sucks. I used to take the empty roll and chuck it at him, wherever he was in the house. Now I just change it. He also gets toothpaste all over the bathroom mirror when he brushes his teeth. It drives me CRAZY. But at the end of a long work week, he comes home from a week away working really hard and he plays with the boys and gives them baths and does the bedtime routine. Or he gets up early the next morning with them to let me sleep. So I let it go.
6. It's okay to tease and be sarcastic. It's not okay to do so at the expense of the other person's emotions. There is a line, and seeing as it is your spouse that you live with and know so well, the other spouse usually knows where that line exists. Just don't cross it. If they do, make sure you voice that your feelings are hurt. It's okay to come down to that level and admit that you didn't like something they said. This way, not only will it not happen in the future, but it will also keep the "airwaves" open- and talking about how you feel is far more important then most husbands (sorry guys) are willing to admit.
5. Make a point to ask the other how his/her day was! This is something that I will openly admit I have a hard time remembering. Stu has a hard job and works long hours. It's physically testing, and mentally tiring. I stay home with 2 crazy kids and some days I feel like I'm ready to rip my hair out. It's important to ask on those days how the other is doing, because respecting the responsibilities your spouse has and validating that they work hard can make a HUGE difference. I always feel so much more capable when Stu acknowledges how hard MY job is.
4. Trust and faith. This is also something I have a hard time with! I'm a little bit of a control freak (only a little), and I tend to do all the organizing and planning in the family. My desk as I write this is littered with my "lists" for various activities and I'm pretty well known for my "list ridiculousness". Stu is a "fly-by-my-seat" sorta guy, and is perfectly okay with things being planned for him. As previously posted, we are moving (a week today!) and while Stu has been away all month long, I've been organizing the move. I finally had a massive overflowing plate, so I decided to pass some things off to Stu. I told him to find a moving truck. While I keep feeling this nagging doubt that he won't find something and will fail miserably, I also know that he has never let me down. I know he'll find something, because I asked him to and because he's awesome. And just because.
3. Make time for dates! I stress this a lot, but mostly because I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old and Stuart and I haven't been on a date in a really really long time. We make a point to have a "home date" on weekends, where we make really yummy snack food and watch a new movie. We also need to get out more. Sometimes relaxing without kids can relieve stress from work, kids, finances, and any other responsibilities It reminds us why we ended up together in the first place.
2. Romance is NOT dead. Don't even get me started. This goes both ways, and should not be put solely on the guy! It's a 50/50 job! I have a very "unromantic" husband by most "standards" (and by "standards" I mean Hollywood, lol). He doesn't make a point to plan candle light dinners and plan dates for us, but mostly because I'M a control freak and plan everything for us. He is really good at picking presents for birthdays and Christmas, and really thoughtful when it comes to gift giving. He says really sweet things that even 5 years into our relationship make me blush like a schoolgirl! I rag on him sometimes for not being romantic enough, but really, he's romantic enough by MY standards.
1. Lastly and MOST importantly, communicate! It's so important to talk! I know, I'm a girl, and any man that just read that literally rolled their eyes. But it IS true. Stu and I actually don't fight often, we have heated conversations, but usually it's because we are both upset about the same thing and on the same "side" in the "argument" and just venting. The few times we have had "fights" (and I should definitely iterate that fighting in a relationship is HEALTHY), he fights like how I would call, a typical man. It drives me a little nuts. After 5 years, he seems to slowly get that it's really important for us to talk it out and solve our issues. Generally in a fight, Stu walks away (while muttering, or yelling) and yells from another room. He so rarely "fights" with me face to face unless I corner him (literally, physically corner him). He also raises his voice REALLY early in any "argument". It also seems that no matter how big of a fight we have, he is perfectly capable of rolling over in bed and going to sleep while I lay there fuming while I toss and turn all night long. Actually, not all night. I usually end up waking him. And making him talk more. I can't not resolve things quickly. Maybe that isn't healthy, but it's my "fighting style". Stu finally seems to be catching on. The way I see it, is that I just don't want to leave things angry and then have him go away for a week of work while we aren't talking. I always think what if something happens to him and that is the last conversation we ever have? I don't want the last conversation we have to be out of anger, I want the last thing to have been said between us was "I love you, have a good week".
While I know this list is pretty vague, and Stuart and I haven't been married long, these key basics work for us. I think I'll come back and re-do this list after we've been married for 30+ years and see what has changed!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
About Me
I know it has been a while since I last posted. We have decided to move as of June 1st, so things have a been a bit hectic here!
We are moving across town to a more centralized spot, and also going from our massive 4 bedroom house (that we don't even use all of!) to a 3 bedroom home. We are excited and looking forward to the move, but I'm going to be so sad leaving this house.
I was recently updating some of my website (http://clearyhealthandwellness.healthcoach.integrativenutrition.com/) and while filling out the "About Me" section, I realized just how far I've come in the last 3 years!
I used to be marginally shy. Once someone got to know me, I never shut up, but up until that point I was pretty quiet (I think a lot of people will have a hard time believing that!). Things changed after I had Gage, and I became a bit more outspoken and especially more opinionated. A lot of that had to do with our decision to raise him as a vegetarian. We were met with a lot of skepticism and that made my back go up and I was constantly on the "defense mode" with other's, even if they were supportive. From there on out, up until more recently, I came across as a negative and angry person. That also talked a lot.
I thought I would share a little bit about why I decided to become a "veggie" and why I continue to raise my family as "little veggies" as well.
Since childhood I've not liked eating meat. I was picky about the texture, what it looked like, the temperature, everything! My parents used to make me sit at the table until all my steak/chicken/pork was done. I'd eat all my veggies, but never did I eat all my meat. As I became older and moved out, I decided that eating animals was not for me. I have always been a huge animal lover, and knowing that one suffered such a miserable beginning, middle and end just so I could have a burger didn't sit well with me. So I stopped eating meat. I was still pretty young, and did very little research to make sure I was still eating healthy. Over the years, I slowly got my hands onto some amazing books and documentaries and I learned more about vegetarianism. I began to slowly discover the health benefits to not eating animal products (or at least less animal products, I consumed eggs and dairy for a while). I began to share my findings with friends and family. No one seemed to care, and I was always angry that people chose to live in, what I called, ignorance. How can someone claim to love animals so much but still enjoy a steak?
The phrase "I love animals, I don't really eat meat. Just chicken and turkey" used to make me so angry!
When Gage was born and I all of a sudden had this adorable little person to care for, I knew in my heart I couldn't possibly give him meat when I didn't eat it. I knew nothing about raising a vegetarian child. So I read some more. I visited health care professionals. I'm lucky that my family doctor, while skeptical at first, gave me resources and trusted my judgement. He is now one of our largest supporters. We had so many people, both friends and family, try to talk us out of raising Gage a veggie. People assumed he wouldn't grow at the same rate as other kids, he'd be behind mentally, would get sick all the time, etc etc etc. We were even in some cases laughed at! All of this made me mad. I knew I was doing what was best for my family and people dared question so much of what I was doing. I was so lucky to have such a supportive husband, who did just as much reading as I did and decided on his own terms to also become a veggie. I was so proud of him! I still consider myself the luckiest girl alive.
Over the years, people have noticed that Gage is very rarely sick, has grown rapidly and is advanced in every way for his age. He eats a ton of veggies and fruits. He has this incredible thirst for life and makes so many people laugh and smile everyday. Then people just started curiously asking questions about our diet. Or they just started respecting the fact that we don't consume meat, and they became okay with that. My parents started planning dinners that were meatless whenever we came over for dinner.
Then I became pregnant with Finn, and started down a different path of my journey. I learned so much about myself during my pregnancy, labor and delivery. Shortly after, I became a student at Integrative Nutrition and realized that I really shouldn't be so negative and angry! People eat how they know, and people like me were meant to inspire people to live the best life they can, the healthiest way possible!
Not everyone was mean to be a veggie. Some people feel better physically and mentally while eating small amounts of animal protein. Do I think we, as a whole, need to consume less animal protein and animal products? Absolutely, hands down, without-a-freaking-doubt. With the obesity rate, chronic heart disease rate, cancer rate, diabetes rate, and a myriad of other diseases, we could all use a change. Food can heal anything.
So now, when someone says something like "Where do you get your protein?", "Your children are vegetarian/vegan? Do they grow the same rate that other children do?", "What do you eat/feed your children?" and the million other questions I get, instead of becoming angry and my back going up, I explain with a smile that yes, we are vegetarians, and yes, we are transitioning to veganism. We eat a ton of fruits, vegetables, beans and whole grains, my children are both above average for weight and height, are happy and healthy and very rarely (if ever) sick, protein is in vegetables and other natural sources and we LOVE knowing that nothing has to die or suffer in order for us to eat.
The moment I realized I needed to stop being so negative and angry, so many positive changes started happening for us. Now my family backs us in our decision and my parents have become vegetarian as well. My sister, completely on her own, decided to become a vegetarian (with very limited eggs and dairy) and I couldn't be more proud of them all!
We are moving across town to a more centralized spot, and also going from our massive 4 bedroom house (that we don't even use all of!) to a 3 bedroom home. We are excited and looking forward to the move, but I'm going to be so sad leaving this house.
I was recently updating some of my website (http://clearyhealthandwellness.healthcoach.integrativenutrition.com/) and while filling out the "About Me" section, I realized just how far I've come in the last 3 years!
I used to be marginally shy. Once someone got to know me, I never shut up, but up until that point I was pretty quiet (I think a lot of people will have a hard time believing that!). Things changed after I had Gage, and I became a bit more outspoken and especially more opinionated. A lot of that had to do with our decision to raise him as a vegetarian. We were met with a lot of skepticism and that made my back go up and I was constantly on the "defense mode" with other's, even if they were supportive. From there on out, up until more recently, I came across as a negative and angry person. That also talked a lot.
I thought I would share a little bit about why I decided to become a "veggie" and why I continue to raise my family as "little veggies" as well.
Since childhood I've not liked eating meat. I was picky about the texture, what it looked like, the temperature, everything! My parents used to make me sit at the table until all my steak/chicken/pork was done. I'd eat all my veggies, but never did I eat all my meat. As I became older and moved out, I decided that eating animals was not for me. I have always been a huge animal lover, and knowing that one suffered such a miserable beginning, middle and end just so I could have a burger didn't sit well with me. So I stopped eating meat. I was still pretty young, and did very little research to make sure I was still eating healthy. Over the years, I slowly got my hands onto some amazing books and documentaries and I learned more about vegetarianism. I began to slowly discover the health benefits to not eating animal products (or at least less animal products, I consumed eggs and dairy for a while). I began to share my findings with friends and family. No one seemed to care, and I was always angry that people chose to live in, what I called, ignorance. How can someone claim to love animals so much but still enjoy a steak?
The phrase "I love animals, I don't really eat meat. Just chicken and turkey" used to make me so angry!
When Gage was born and I all of a sudden had this adorable little person to care for, I knew in my heart I couldn't possibly give him meat when I didn't eat it. I knew nothing about raising a vegetarian child. So I read some more. I visited health care professionals. I'm lucky that my family doctor, while skeptical at first, gave me resources and trusted my judgement. He is now one of our largest supporters. We had so many people, both friends and family, try to talk us out of raising Gage a veggie. People assumed he wouldn't grow at the same rate as other kids, he'd be behind mentally, would get sick all the time, etc etc etc. We were even in some cases laughed at! All of this made me mad. I knew I was doing what was best for my family and people dared question so much of what I was doing. I was so lucky to have such a supportive husband, who did just as much reading as I did and decided on his own terms to also become a veggie. I was so proud of him! I still consider myself the luckiest girl alive.
Over the years, people have noticed that Gage is very rarely sick, has grown rapidly and is advanced in every way for his age. He eats a ton of veggies and fruits. He has this incredible thirst for life and makes so many people laugh and smile everyday. Then people just started curiously asking questions about our diet. Or they just started respecting the fact that we don't consume meat, and they became okay with that. My parents started planning dinners that were meatless whenever we came over for dinner.
Then I became pregnant with Finn, and started down a different path of my journey. I learned so much about myself during my pregnancy, labor and delivery. Shortly after, I became a student at Integrative Nutrition and realized that I really shouldn't be so negative and angry! People eat how they know, and people like me were meant to inspire people to live the best life they can, the healthiest way possible!
Not everyone was mean to be a veggie. Some people feel better physically and mentally while eating small amounts of animal protein. Do I think we, as a whole, need to consume less animal protein and animal products? Absolutely, hands down, without-a-freaking-doubt. With the obesity rate, chronic heart disease rate, cancer rate, diabetes rate, and a myriad of other diseases, we could all use a change. Food can heal anything.
So now, when someone says something like "Where do you get your protein?", "Your children are vegetarian/vegan? Do they grow the same rate that other children do?", "What do you eat/feed your children?" and the million other questions I get, instead of becoming angry and my back going up, I explain with a smile that yes, we are vegetarians, and yes, we are transitioning to veganism. We eat a ton of fruits, vegetables, beans and whole grains, my children are both above average for weight and height, are happy and healthy and very rarely (if ever) sick, protein is in vegetables and other natural sources and we LOVE knowing that nothing has to die or suffer in order for us to eat.
The moment I realized I needed to stop being so negative and angry, so many positive changes started happening for us. Now my family backs us in our decision and my parents have become vegetarian as well. My sister, completely on her own, decided to become a vegetarian (with very limited eggs and dairy) and I couldn't be more proud of them all!
Friday, May 10, 2013
Support System
Having a positive support system is really important. While I've had ups and downs in the last year and learned who my real friends are, I've also been so lucky to have such supportive people in my life. I have parents that stand behind all my endeavors 100% and never waiver in their loyalty, and a really really really supportive husband. I'm so lucky!
I also have 4 friends I'm going to humiliate by mentioning.
These 4 ladies check in on me when I'm alone all week while Stu is away for work, cheer me up with jokes and offer empathy when needed. They also offer amazing advice and wisdom. They are forever motivating and inspiring me to be a better person.
First off, is Ricky Bobby (which is what Gage calls her, not her real name). She's the older sister of an ex-boyfriend of mine, and while that should be weird and awkward, it usually isn't. Her whole family is full of the most incredibly loving people. Long after her brother and I split, I'm still welcome in their home, with my husband and kids, and invited to social gatherings. Gage is best friends with her son, and watching them grow together is so much fun. I don't think I would have made it through my first pregnancy without Ricky Bobby, and even though at the time she lived 2 provinces away from me, we texted all day every day. She's hilarious, awesome at cheering me up, and I can 100% of the time expect at least a "that really sucks" from her when I'm having a shitty day. She lets me rant to her about silly things, and swear a lot, and we both vent about "bad mommy days". She is hands down one of the best listeners ever. If I have a bad day, or if anything happens and I need someone, I know I could call her and she'd be there within minutes. With wine.
Second is Stacy. Her and I have known each other for years, and it first started with horses. Long before kids, I boarded Dusty at the barn she and her fiance (now husband) were running. My first impression of her was this beautiful bubbly blonde that literally has everything in the best way possible. She's positive ALL the time, loves everyone with all her heart, is an awesome riding coach that can convince you to do the hardest things on horseback while saying "please", and is such a good friend. I was lucky enough to attend her wedding back when I still boarded Dusty at her place, and it is hands down the best wedding I've ever attended. Her husband is hilarious, and together they are two of my favourite people ever. Stacy had her first son the same year I had Gage, and was pregnant when I told her I was pregnant (she was one of the first people I told and her first reaction was to GIGGLE). She has helped me with motherhood more then she could ever know. She now has 1 year old twins, and is such an inspiration as a mother, as a horseperson and overall as a person. I can go to her house and our kids will play while we talk all day about horses and kids. She always says the stuff everyone is thinking but hasn't said yet, she's the most hilarious drunk I've ever met, and always the life and center of every get-together/party. If Stacy attends your party, then you know it will be a good one. She came and sat up late with me shortly after I had Finn and talked to me because I was having such a hard time breastfeeding. She's definitely one of a kind.
Third is Fiona. Fiona has been mentioned on here before, and we originally know each other from work. I was working for a cable company as a customer service rep, while she was a supervisor at the head office. We've never met in person, but she has become such an incredible friend. She is in the same Nutrition school that I am, just a bit ahead of me. She was who told me about the program and encouraged me to do it. She is so wise, and whenever I'm having a bad day can offer advice that always cheers me up and make me feel like my world isn't crashing down. She motivates me to live a happier life and to chase my dreams. We keep saying we wish we lived closer (really, it IS only an hour or so separating us!). When I have a problem that I can't quite work out myself, I go to her. She recently taught me the power of forgiving those that have wronged me, and how damaging holding onto a grudge and the anger really is. She is the beginning of my journey since starting IIN, and I'm so lucky to have her there throughout as well.
Fourth is my newest friend, Haley. We both attend IIN. There seemed to be some kind of fate that brought us together, we connected on our facebook group for school and added one another as friends. We are so much alike, I'm pretty sure we were sisters in another life. She lives across the country in British Columbia. We both love animals, gardening and health. We are so like minded, it's a little scary! There hasn't been anything yet we don't have in common. We are both what we have named "canaries" and have both had the unfortunate experience of being friends with others that just don't "get it". Or us. But that is all okay now, because we found each other! While Stu was away for work last week, she took time out of her crazy busy day with her 2 kids and messaged me asking how I was. It was so nice to know someone was thinking about me, and took the time to make sure I was okay. While our friendship is new, I've learned that she is so much stronger then she thinks she is and capable of anything she puts her mind to. During our Live Conference we live streamed for school last weekend, we messaged each other whenever something inspiring struck us. I'm so excited for the future with this friend, and having her by my side on our IIN journey!
Each of these people has shaped me and helped me throughout ups and downs in my life. I feel so lucky to have each and every one of them, more then any of them could ever know. The friendships with these ladies is something I value very much, and with each of them by my side I feel like I can absolutely accomplish anything! I owe each one of you so much, and hope one day I can do the same for you like you have for me.
I also have 4 friends I'm going to humiliate by mentioning.
These 4 ladies check in on me when I'm alone all week while Stu is away for work, cheer me up with jokes and offer empathy when needed. They also offer amazing advice and wisdom. They are forever motivating and inspiring me to be a better person.
First off, is Ricky Bobby (which is what Gage calls her, not her real name). She's the older sister of an ex-boyfriend of mine, and while that should be weird and awkward, it usually isn't. Her whole family is full of the most incredibly loving people. Long after her brother and I split, I'm still welcome in their home, with my husband and kids, and invited to social gatherings. Gage is best friends with her son, and watching them grow together is so much fun. I don't think I would have made it through my first pregnancy without Ricky Bobby, and even though at the time she lived 2 provinces away from me, we texted all day every day. She's hilarious, awesome at cheering me up, and I can 100% of the time expect at least a "that really sucks" from her when I'm having a shitty day. She lets me rant to her about silly things, and swear a lot, and we both vent about "bad mommy days". She is hands down one of the best listeners ever. If I have a bad day, or if anything happens and I need someone, I know I could call her and she'd be there within minutes. With wine.
Second is Stacy. Her and I have known each other for years, and it first started with horses. Long before kids, I boarded Dusty at the barn she and her fiance (now husband) were running. My first impression of her was this beautiful bubbly blonde that literally has everything in the best way possible. She's positive ALL the time, loves everyone with all her heart, is an awesome riding coach that can convince you to do the hardest things on horseback while saying "please", and is such a good friend. I was lucky enough to attend her wedding back when I still boarded Dusty at her place, and it is hands down the best wedding I've ever attended. Her husband is hilarious, and together they are two of my favourite people ever. Stacy had her first son the same year I had Gage, and was pregnant when I told her I was pregnant (she was one of the first people I told and her first reaction was to GIGGLE). She has helped me with motherhood more then she could ever know. She now has 1 year old twins, and is such an inspiration as a mother, as a horseperson and overall as a person. I can go to her house and our kids will play while we talk all day about horses and kids. She always says the stuff everyone is thinking but hasn't said yet, she's the most hilarious drunk I've ever met, and always the life and center of every get-together/party. If Stacy attends your party, then you know it will be a good one. She came and sat up late with me shortly after I had Finn and talked to me because I was having such a hard time breastfeeding. She's definitely one of a kind.
Third is Fiona. Fiona has been mentioned on here before, and we originally know each other from work. I was working for a cable company as a customer service rep, while she was a supervisor at the head office. We've never met in person, but she has become such an incredible friend. She is in the same Nutrition school that I am, just a bit ahead of me. She was who told me about the program and encouraged me to do it. She is so wise, and whenever I'm having a bad day can offer advice that always cheers me up and make me feel like my world isn't crashing down. She motivates me to live a happier life and to chase my dreams. We keep saying we wish we lived closer (really, it IS only an hour or so separating us!). When I have a problem that I can't quite work out myself, I go to her. She recently taught me the power of forgiving those that have wronged me, and how damaging holding onto a grudge and the anger really is. She is the beginning of my journey since starting IIN, and I'm so lucky to have her there throughout as well.
Fourth is my newest friend, Haley. We both attend IIN. There seemed to be some kind of fate that brought us together, we connected on our facebook group for school and added one another as friends. We are so much alike, I'm pretty sure we were sisters in another life. She lives across the country in British Columbia. We both love animals, gardening and health. We are so like minded, it's a little scary! There hasn't been anything yet we don't have in common. We are both what we have named "canaries" and have both had the unfortunate experience of being friends with others that just don't "get it". Or us. But that is all okay now, because we found each other! While Stu was away for work last week, she took time out of her crazy busy day with her 2 kids and messaged me asking how I was. It was so nice to know someone was thinking about me, and took the time to make sure I was okay. While our friendship is new, I've learned that she is so much stronger then she thinks she is and capable of anything she puts her mind to. During our Live Conference we live streamed for school last weekend, we messaged each other whenever something inspiring struck us. I'm so excited for the future with this friend, and having her by my side on our IIN journey!
Each of these people has shaped me and helped me throughout ups and downs in my life. I feel so lucky to have each and every one of them, more then any of them could ever know. The friendships with these ladies is something I value very much, and with each of them by my side I feel like I can absolutely accomplish anything! I owe each one of you so much, and hope one day I can do the same for you like you have for me.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Music Feeds the Soul
I love music, and was raised in a house full of all different kinds of music. My parents were into playing classic rock, soul, classical, country and rock growing up. I make fun of them now, because as they have moved into their 50's, the music they listen to now has warped into what I refer to as "old people music" (sorry mom and dad). But they used to be so cool! My mom loved the Monkee's growing up, and my dad was a Beatles, Meatloaf, Pink Floyd fan growing up. I remember I went through a phase a few years ago where I was mega jealous of the fact that my parents were teenagers in the 70's with awesome music.
Stuart also grew up with great music as a strong influence, his first concert was as a kid with his parents- Rolling Stones! How awesome is that?!
I strongly believe music shapes us and influences how we think and feel. Certain songs remind you of a different time in your life. The song by Foo Fighters "Best of You" reminds me of the summer after graduating highschool. Spice Girls reminds me of being a kid in grade school (back when my dad used to blare Zeppelin while driving me to school and I was SO embarassed) and anything by Fallout Boy reminds me of my first semester of university. I'm pretty open to all kinds of music, and will listen to anything depending on my mood. When I drive to the barn and while at the barn, I listen to country. When at home with the kids we listen to Top 40 and upbeat music. When hanging out with friends I love listening to Jason Mraz, Mumford and Sons and Philip Phillips.
The best advice ever given to me was offered by an old boss of mine in a stupid coffee house job I had after a breakup with a silly boy. He told me "don't listen to country music when you have a broken heart". I use that now, and don't listen to country when I'm sad or in a bad mood.
During my pregnancy with Finn, while I was planning my waterbirth at home and going to a midwife, I found the song "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz. Whenever I was having a day where the fear of natural childbirth would start to creep up, I would turn on that song and remember why I'm doing it. It spoke volumes to me, and I used to listen to it on repeat all day long. I thought briefly about listening to it in labor, but I never even thought of it while I was actually in labor. Time went too fast! I haven't been able to listen to it lately because it reminds me of a time when I was vulnerable and facing a huge challenge and it used to make me tear up. It reminds me of the love for my children and how much I value and love my relationship with Stu and how lucky I am. I listened to it last night while trying to fall asleep and it was just so re-affirming for me. Here is a link to the youtube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1-4u9W-bns
The other song I love to listen to reminds me of the journey I've taken to get to this point. Being in IIN (my school) has really introduced me to myself and given me a glimpse of how my life can be. I went so long being this angry defensive person, and now I'm learning to feel again and re-learn what my life is all about. I just love this song, by One Republic, "Feel Again". Here is the youtube link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tMKO_9SD1Y
How has music shaped your life?
Stuart also grew up with great music as a strong influence, his first concert was as a kid with his parents- Rolling Stones! How awesome is that?!
I strongly believe music shapes us and influences how we think and feel. Certain songs remind you of a different time in your life. The song by Foo Fighters "Best of You" reminds me of the summer after graduating highschool. Spice Girls reminds me of being a kid in grade school (back when my dad used to blare Zeppelin while driving me to school and I was SO embarassed) and anything by Fallout Boy reminds me of my first semester of university. I'm pretty open to all kinds of music, and will listen to anything depending on my mood. When I drive to the barn and while at the barn, I listen to country. When at home with the kids we listen to Top 40 and upbeat music. When hanging out with friends I love listening to Jason Mraz, Mumford and Sons and Philip Phillips.
The best advice ever given to me was offered by an old boss of mine in a stupid coffee house job I had after a breakup with a silly boy. He told me "don't listen to country music when you have a broken heart". I use that now, and don't listen to country when I'm sad or in a bad mood.
During my pregnancy with Finn, while I was planning my waterbirth at home and going to a midwife, I found the song "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz. Whenever I was having a day where the fear of natural childbirth would start to creep up, I would turn on that song and remember why I'm doing it. It spoke volumes to me, and I used to listen to it on repeat all day long. I thought briefly about listening to it in labor, but I never even thought of it while I was actually in labor. Time went too fast! I haven't been able to listen to it lately because it reminds me of a time when I was vulnerable and facing a huge challenge and it used to make me tear up. It reminds me of the love for my children and how much I value and love my relationship with Stu and how lucky I am. I listened to it last night while trying to fall asleep and it was just so re-affirming for me. Here is a link to the youtube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1-4u9W-bns
The other song I love to listen to reminds me of the journey I've taken to get to this point. Being in IIN (my school) has really introduced me to myself and given me a glimpse of how my life can be. I went so long being this angry defensive person, and now I'm learning to feel again and re-learn what my life is all about. I just love this song, by One Republic, "Feel Again". Here is the youtube link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tMKO_9SD1Y
How has music shaped your life?
Friday, April 26, 2013
Go Raw!
I've been doing a ton of experimenting lately in the kitchen!
I've been finding it much easier to experiment with dinner's and cooking then baking. Baking poses a larger struggle because baked goods aren't supposed to be healthy! I did however, discover that using raw recipes (instead of baking in the oven, they just go into the fridge/freezer!) to bring out some yummy results! This recipe here so far is the best one. It tasted so delicious!
....They also didn't last very long in my house!
I've been finding it much easier to experiment with dinner's and cooking then baking. Baking poses a larger struggle because baked goods aren't supposed to be healthy! I did however, discover that using raw recipes (instead of baking in the oven, they just go into the fridge/freezer!) to bring out some yummy results! This recipe here so far is the best one. It tasted so delicious!
....They also didn't last very long in my house!
Cookie
Dough Chocolate Squares (raw)
Crust
1 cup of Peanuts
1 cup of Cashews
4-5 Pitted Dates
1-2 tablespoons of raw honey
1/3 cup of dark chocolate chips
Chocolate Ganache
1 cup of Coconut Oil
1/4 cup of Maple Syrup
1/2 cup of Cacao powder
- Crust- Add everything but chocolate chips to food processor and mix together. Add 1-2 tablespoons of water if needs something to stick together. Add chocolate chips by hand and mix together with hands. Add to bottom of glass 8x8 pan (oiled) and press down.
- Ganache- Add everything to food processor and mix together. Scrap down sides to ensure well mixed. Pour on top of crust.
- Cover with plastic wrap and place in freezer for 3 hours. Cut squares. Serve right away. Put pan back in freezer with leftovers.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Half Full
I'm naturally a negative person. The moment things get tough for me, I automatically assume the worst. In everyone and any situation. I've been trying so hard to change this lately, and here is why:
I started thinking a few weeks ago (I believe it was a random quote on Pinterest that started the thought) that as a parent, I need to lead as an example for my sons. I need to live by example, to live my life everyday and think everyday exactly how I'd want them to live and think. My negative "glass-is-half-empty-the-world-is-ending-because-I'm-having-a-bad-day" attitude is not something I want them to develop. It has stopped so many GOOD things from coming my way, has stretched as far as introducing so many angry thoughts and actions over the years and even gone as far as affecting my self-esteem. I don't want that for my children.
I've have to sometimes stop myself after every thought and tell myself that things really are not that bad. That things could absolutely get worse (because really, the moment you say "things can't possibly get any worse" they inevitably get much worse), that I am lucky to have so many beautiful people in my life and that I am healthy and smart and funny and my LIFE is beautiful. Things always find a way to work themselves out.
Today I had to remind myself of this. No matter how dark it seems, there is always some kind of light nearby. Usually that light shines a little faster and brighter if we are positive with our thoughts and actions.
As a mother, I'm sure other mom's understand when I say sometimes I just have a "bad mom day". Where both kids are miserable (either for a known reason or unknown) and I'm tired, my "to-do" list is literally a mile long and I just want to sit in my bathroom and cry. With cookies. It's those days that thinking positive about my situation seems impossible. Then I look at my boys, realize how lucky I am to have them call me "mama" and that I am a strong, independent woman and the only person on this earth capable of solving their problems and healing whatever issue they are having that makes them grumpy. Some mom's aren't so lucky to have beautiful and healthy children to take care of (that thought totally comes from my mom telling me as a kid to eat my veggies at dinner because some kids in Africa are starving).
This morning my kids woke me up at 4am. They have been humongous grumpy pants since then. While at my wits end, I realized that hard as it is to believe now, I will one day miss the pitter-patter of little feet (we call Gage a baby elephant) to my bed at 4am saying "mom, make me a sandwich".
Or at least I tell myself I *might* miss it. Right now it's a little hard to believe!
I started thinking a few weeks ago (I believe it was a random quote on Pinterest that started the thought) that as a parent, I need to lead as an example for my sons. I need to live by example, to live my life everyday and think everyday exactly how I'd want them to live and think. My negative "glass-is-half-empty-the-world-is-ending-because-I'm-having-a-bad-day" attitude is not something I want them to develop. It has stopped so many GOOD things from coming my way, has stretched as far as introducing so many angry thoughts and actions over the years and even gone as far as affecting my self-esteem. I don't want that for my children.
I've have to sometimes stop myself after every thought and tell myself that things really are not that bad. That things could absolutely get worse (because really, the moment you say "things can't possibly get any worse" they inevitably get much worse), that I am lucky to have so many beautiful people in my life and that I am healthy and smart and funny and my LIFE is beautiful. Things always find a way to work themselves out.
Today I had to remind myself of this. No matter how dark it seems, there is always some kind of light nearby. Usually that light shines a little faster and brighter if we are positive with our thoughts and actions.
As a mother, I'm sure other mom's understand when I say sometimes I just have a "bad mom day". Where both kids are miserable (either for a known reason or unknown) and I'm tired, my "to-do" list is literally a mile long and I just want to sit in my bathroom and cry. With cookies. It's those days that thinking positive about my situation seems impossible. Then I look at my boys, realize how lucky I am to have them call me "mama" and that I am a strong, independent woman and the only person on this earth capable of solving their problems and healing whatever issue they are having that makes them grumpy. Some mom's aren't so lucky to have beautiful and healthy children to take care of (that thought totally comes from my mom telling me as a kid to eat my veggies at dinner because some kids in Africa are starving).
This morning my kids woke me up at 4am. They have been humongous grumpy pants since then. While at my wits end, I realized that hard as it is to believe now, I will one day miss the pitter-patter of little feet (we call Gage a baby elephant) to my bed at 4am saying "mom, make me a sandwich".
Or at least I tell myself I *might* miss it. Right now it's a little hard to believe!
Friday, April 19, 2013
The Best Day Ever!
Yesterday I had the amazing opportunity to attend a lecture given by David Wolfe!
It was such a fun evening, unlike anything I've ever attended before.
It just happened to take place in my hometown, during the same week I listened to his previous lectures for school. There were a ton of vendors on location (that I went broke over purchasing their products!) and a room full of David Wolfe admirers.
I had the chance to talk to him before the event started, and I was so nervous! I haven't really met anyone "well known" or "famous" before, and I feel like the 20 seconds I had to speak with Mr Wolfe consisted of me rambling. I got a picture with him, and then I sat down to enjoy a superfood smoothie I bought. My hands shook while I texted Stu the picture, and I felt completely high on adrenaline! It was such a crazy experience!
I don't know if it was just being in the same room of like-minded people, or if it was David Wolfe himself, or the superfood smoothie I drank before the event started, but I felt like I had chugged 20 mugs of coffee! I could have run a marathon! The information was invaluable, I learned so much!
I came home afterwards and couldn't sleep for hours. I just sat at my computer and googled all the things I learned. I learned how awesome spring water is, and how much it can affect your health. I looked up local springs known near me and I want to go and collect some to try. I also learned about medicinal mushrooms and how they grow in my area. While I never really thought I'd be interested in "medicinal mushrooms", I find it fascinating that these little tree-growing fungi can cure an assortment of illness and disease. And they grow in the forests all over Ontario!
I can't wait to attend another event like this, it was so much fun!
 |
| Giddy YoYo is a local small business with the most amazing chocolate I've EVER tasted! Anyone that knows me knows how much I love chocolate, and this is better then any high quality milk chocolate. There are so many flavors (this one, Vanilla, was my favourite) and I fell in love with the "Raw Love Butter". Amazing company! |
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Easier Said Then Done
While I know this topic is something a lot of people will probably find an impossible feat, and maybe even roll their eyes when they read it, I think it's important.
So many people work a job or are in a career they hate. A lot of people hate their boss, their coworkers, the work itself, the hours, the money they make, etc etc etc.
I have a no nonsense approach, so prepare yourself.
Change it!
Your job is something you do 5 days a week, 8 (or more) hours a day. It takes up a HUGE portion of your life! Why stick to a job that sucks the life out of you? So you can work until the weekend and have 2 days of relief, only to have to go back on Monday and do it again? Why not find something, CREATE something, that makes you happy and look forward to Monday mornings?
I can only speak from experience.
I worked a customer service job I hated. HATED. I knew that after my maternity leave with Gage I wasn't going back. I wanted to stay home until he started school.
So I did.
It was hard. There were a ton of financial challenges in our path. We had to plan ahead, and move in with my parents. Stu had the same job, and knew it wouldn't support us. So he found another job. He is much happier doing what he is now, and has plans to do what he loves as soon as he is able.
My mom stayed home with my sister and I for 17 years. She went back to work after that, and has gone from retail/customer service job to job. She hates her job, finds it exhausting, the pay degrading and is treated poorly. While I know she isn't happy, she refuses to take charge of her life and do something about it. It makes me sad, but I also know that she will get to a point soon where enough is enough and she WILL change it.
My dad has driven a bus in Toronto for the TTC for over 23 years. He has a hard, long day and never complained once. He recently made a change to the subway because he was starting to not enjoy his job.
We all know by now I'm honest and blunt to the point of offending people.
Don't complain to me about much you hate your job but then be unwilling to change it!
Make a list of 5-10 things that you LOVE to do. Then make sub-points to brainstorm careers that include those things. Then make an action plan and set goals- big and small. Follow it step by step.
I know, easier said then done. But it IS possible!
So many people work a job or are in a career they hate. A lot of people hate their boss, their coworkers, the work itself, the hours, the money they make, etc etc etc.
I have a no nonsense approach, so prepare yourself.
Change it!
Your job is something you do 5 days a week, 8 (or more) hours a day. It takes up a HUGE portion of your life! Why stick to a job that sucks the life out of you? So you can work until the weekend and have 2 days of relief, only to have to go back on Monday and do it again? Why not find something, CREATE something, that makes you happy and look forward to Monday mornings?
I can only speak from experience.
I worked a customer service job I hated. HATED. I knew that after my maternity leave with Gage I wasn't going back. I wanted to stay home until he started school.
So I did.
It was hard. There were a ton of financial challenges in our path. We had to plan ahead, and move in with my parents. Stu had the same job, and knew it wouldn't support us. So he found another job. He is much happier doing what he is now, and has plans to do what he loves as soon as he is able.
My mom stayed home with my sister and I for 17 years. She went back to work after that, and has gone from retail/customer service job to job. She hates her job, finds it exhausting, the pay degrading and is treated poorly. While I know she isn't happy, she refuses to take charge of her life and do something about it. It makes me sad, but I also know that she will get to a point soon where enough is enough and she WILL change it.
My dad has driven a bus in Toronto for the TTC for over 23 years. He has a hard, long day and never complained once. He recently made a change to the subway because he was starting to not enjoy his job.
We all know by now I'm honest and blunt to the point of offending people.
Don't complain to me about much you hate your job but then be unwilling to change it!
Make a list of 5-10 things that you LOVE to do. Then make sub-points to brainstorm careers that include those things. Then make an action plan and set goals- big and small. Follow it step by step.
I know, easier said then done. But it IS possible!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Me Time
It took me 3 years, but I finally figured out how to be a positive influence in my children's lives, and how to be happy.
I need time to myself, on a regular basis.
I know from experience that most mom's have a difficult time making themselves a priority. They put their children, housework, their husband's, pets and other family members before themselves. It's easy to forget to recharge your sanity!
I've said it a million times before, being a mom is the hardest job in the world. Whether you are a working mom, or you stay at home. It is HARD.
We need to take a time out, regularly, so that when we go back to wearing the "mom pants" we can handle the tantrums, the whining, the negotiating, the housework, the cooking etc. If we don't get time away, we end up pushed to our limits, and NO mom is a good mom then. It's ridiculously hard to keep it together.
You don't need a whole day away, or hours away, just time to yourself each day for 5-10 minutes. I know there are single mom's out there that don't have a partner to rely on for help, but it IS still possible. If your kids nap, make yourself a tea and just sit and breathe. Watch a girly movie. After the kids are in bed, have a warm bubble bath. If you can find a sitter, go for a walk with the dog, go window shopping with a tea. The possibilities are endless!
I know it's hard to imagine, and I know mom's that work a lot of hours per week that say "When I'm home I just want to spend time with my kids". But you know what? That ISN'T normal. You don't win mom of the year because of that.
We change after becoming mother's, in a HUGE way. In a lot of ways, we forget who we were before and we think to ourselves "I lived so selfishly!". But we need to be selfish again! It is what makes us "mom of the year". Our children will enjoy us more!
My experience started as a kid. My mom was a stay at home mom well into my teen years, and she NEVER (still doesn't ) take time for herself. She put(s) everyone first, and doesn't leave enough time for herself. She is stretched very thin most of the time. I started off motherhood doing much of the same. But you know what? I found it overwhelming, stressful, anxiety-ridden and exhausting. I learned it absolutely does NOT have to be that way.
Now I take time each day for myself. When Finn goes down for a nap, I make myself a hot tea and I sit and relax and breathe deeply and I watch a movie. In the evening when Stu comes home, I go for a walk around my neighborhood with Max. I sit and read a book. I ignore my household chores.
Because when I'm old, I don't want my children to remember me as the mom who's house was spotless, all the time, who was frazzled, impatient and yelling all the time. I want them to remember a happy mom, who was fun and took time for herself so she could love them more.
I need time to myself, on a regular basis.
I know from experience that most mom's have a difficult time making themselves a priority. They put their children, housework, their husband's, pets and other family members before themselves. It's easy to forget to recharge your sanity!
I've said it a million times before, being a mom is the hardest job in the world. Whether you are a working mom, or you stay at home. It is HARD.
We need to take a time out, regularly, so that when we go back to wearing the "mom pants" we can handle the tantrums, the whining, the negotiating, the housework, the cooking etc. If we don't get time away, we end up pushed to our limits, and NO mom is a good mom then. It's ridiculously hard to keep it together.
You don't need a whole day away, or hours away, just time to yourself each day for 5-10 minutes. I know there are single mom's out there that don't have a partner to rely on for help, but it IS still possible. If your kids nap, make yourself a tea and just sit and breathe. Watch a girly movie. After the kids are in bed, have a warm bubble bath. If you can find a sitter, go for a walk with the dog, go window shopping with a tea. The possibilities are endless!
I know it's hard to imagine, and I know mom's that work a lot of hours per week that say "When I'm home I just want to spend time with my kids". But you know what? That ISN'T normal. You don't win mom of the year because of that.
We change after becoming mother's, in a HUGE way. In a lot of ways, we forget who we were before and we think to ourselves "I lived so selfishly!". But we need to be selfish again! It is what makes us "mom of the year". Our children will enjoy us more!
My experience started as a kid. My mom was a stay at home mom well into my teen years, and she NEVER (still doesn't ) take time for herself. She put(s) everyone first, and doesn't leave enough time for herself. She is stretched very thin most of the time. I started off motherhood doing much of the same. But you know what? I found it overwhelming, stressful, anxiety-ridden and exhausting. I learned it absolutely does NOT have to be that way.
Now I take time each day for myself. When Finn goes down for a nap, I make myself a hot tea and I sit and relax and breathe deeply and I watch a movie. In the evening when Stu comes home, I go for a walk around my neighborhood with Max. I sit and read a book. I ignore my household chores.
Because when I'm old, I don't want my children to remember me as the mom who's house was spotless, all the time, who was frazzled, impatient and yelling all the time. I want them to remember a happy mom, who was fun and took time for herself so she could love them more.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Portobello Pizza's
I have been having so much fun experimenting in the kitchen lately!
This recipe in particular is really easy and fast to make, and Gage LOVED it!
Ingredients:
6 Portobello mushrooms, intact.
1 can of pizza sauce (organic)
2 cups of mozzarella cheese (or for Vegan's, 2 cups of Daiya shredded cheese)
1 bunch of baby spinach
2 cloves of garlic, chopped or grated
1 sliced tomato
(really, anything can be used as toppings on these!)
1. Pre-heat oven to 350F. Cut off the stems and line mushrooms upside down on baking sheet.
This recipe in particular is really easy and fast to make, and Gage LOVED it!
Ingredients:
6 Portobello mushrooms, intact.
1 can of pizza sauce (organic)
2 cups of mozzarella cheese (or for Vegan's, 2 cups of Daiya shredded cheese)
1 bunch of baby spinach
2 cloves of garlic, chopped or grated
1 sliced tomato
(really, anything can be used as toppings on these!)
1. Pre-heat oven to 350F. Cut off the stems and line mushrooms upside down on baking sheet.
2. Spoon pizza sauce onto mushrooms and spread.
3. Add toppings, starting with garlic. Then add cheese on the very top.
4. Put into oven for 15 minutes. If mushrooms are deep and thick, 15-18 minutes. Enjoy!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Little Boys
This post is dedicated to all the parents with little boys.
I have 2 and I love them.
When I became pregnant with Finn, everyone (I mean, EVERYONE) kept saying "I hope you have a girl this time!".
No.
I don't want a girl.
I started off all "I'll be happy wither either gender as long as baby is healthy". But then it changed as I got closer to finding out what baby would be and I desperately hoped for a boy.
I love my little boys.
So many people think they are messy, loud, smelly, lazy, busy, trouble etc. all wrapped into one constantly moving entity. And yeah, they are.
But I am a girl, and I remember my teenage years. And my sister is younger then me, so I remember hers really well too. While I know boys are no walk in the park during their teenage years, I don't think I could handle a teenage girl and come out the other side alive and well. I was made to mother boys, and I'm glad I have two!
A lot of people get caught up with society norms and what people will think if your little boy was loud and dirty and being goofy in a grocery store or out in public somewhere. I'm REALLY lucky that Gage is so well behaved whenever we go out anywhere. I get compliments all the time that he's so polite and quiet.
But he's not always like that. Sometimes he forgets we are in public and sings at the top of his voice. Or he makes car noises. Or he pretends (loudly) he has a jetpack strapped to his back. And I never quiet him, despite the stares from the non-parents and older generation in my local grocery store. Or when he asks for something at the checkout and I say "no" and he has a MASSIVE (I mean MASSIVE) tantrum? I don't threaten him with punishment or time out. Because he's a KID, and he's still learning his emotions.
When he plays outside and squishes bugs and gets mud all over or sits on the muddy ground, I don't yell at him because he's a KID.
A friend of mine mentioned that today she took her kids to a local play group and how she noticed all the mom's hovered over their children and didn't let them play freely without interference.
Kids need to be kids! I personally don't think Gage would have the incredibly creative imagination he has now if I'd hovered and insisted on helping him play!
Sometimes I need to remind myself of this when I'm having a busy day and I don't feel like I talk to him or played with him a lot. I'll go looking to see what he's up to only for him to be totally into a game he's invented. He is totally in this "Watch this, mom!" stage, where he has to show me every little thing he does (and compliment how big his muscles are and how tall he's grown) and I LOVE it.
I love my smelly, loud, goofy, dirty little boys!
I have 2 and I love them.
When I became pregnant with Finn, everyone (I mean, EVERYONE) kept saying "I hope you have a girl this time!".
No.
I don't want a girl.
I started off all "I'll be happy wither either gender as long as baby is healthy". But then it changed as I got closer to finding out what baby would be and I desperately hoped for a boy.
I love my little boys.
So many people think they are messy, loud, smelly, lazy, busy, trouble etc. all wrapped into one constantly moving entity. And yeah, they are.
But I am a girl, and I remember my teenage years. And my sister is younger then me, so I remember hers really well too. While I know boys are no walk in the park during their teenage years, I don't think I could handle a teenage girl and come out the other side alive and well. I was made to mother boys, and I'm glad I have two!
A lot of people get caught up with society norms and what people will think if your little boy was loud and dirty and being goofy in a grocery store or out in public somewhere. I'm REALLY lucky that Gage is so well behaved whenever we go out anywhere. I get compliments all the time that he's so polite and quiet.
But he's not always like that. Sometimes he forgets we are in public and sings at the top of his voice. Or he makes car noises. Or he pretends (loudly) he has a jetpack strapped to his back. And I never quiet him, despite the stares from the non-parents and older generation in my local grocery store. Or when he asks for something at the checkout and I say "no" and he has a MASSIVE (I mean MASSIVE) tantrum? I don't threaten him with punishment or time out. Because he's a KID, and he's still learning his emotions.
When he plays outside and squishes bugs and gets mud all over or sits on the muddy ground, I don't yell at him because he's a KID.
A friend of mine mentioned that today she took her kids to a local play group and how she noticed all the mom's hovered over their children and didn't let them play freely without interference.
Kids need to be kids! I personally don't think Gage would have the incredibly creative imagination he has now if I'd hovered and insisted on helping him play!
Sometimes I need to remind myself of this when I'm having a busy day and I don't feel like I talk to him or played with him a lot. I'll go looking to see what he's up to only for him to be totally into a game he's invented. He is totally in this "Watch this, mom!" stage, where he has to show me every little thing he does (and compliment how big his muscles are and how tall he's grown) and I LOVE it.
I love my smelly, loud, goofy, dirty little boys!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Stress and Anxiety
I do not handle stress well. At all. Stuart will be the first to attest to this.
I can't sleep, I either stop eating or I become the biggest emotional eater ever. I sit and just stare into space and stress out. I gets canker sores in my mouth. I get migraines. I cry a lot.
Every family, I think anyway, has financial ups and downs. Stuart and I have had our fair share over the years we've been together, some big and some not so big. It doens't seem to matter how tiny the financial problem is, I still become super stressed out.
This week something stressed me out, and I began down the road that I normally do of super-stress-mania. About half a day into this, I suddenly stopped and thought to myself "what am I doing?!?".
I decided I don't want to live my life stressing out over every tiny bump in the road. There will be many bumps in the road. No matter how hard you try, there will always be something that goes wrong. And so there should be! It's how we learn and grow and learn to APPRECIATE the things we have.
So that's where I am. I've decided to give up the stressing and the anxiousness I feel when we have a problem. I take deep breaths, I sit and have a tea by myself. I play with my two awesome little boys that make me laugh. Before I knew it, I felt so much better!
The other thing I've come to notice about stressful times, whether it be financially or some other issue, is that things always work themselves out. At least so far for us! We always find a way, and we always get through it together.
On another note, the community that came with my school is absolutely incredible! My fellow classmates are from all over the world and so supportive and loving! We all have made our health a priority, and there seems to be so many happy people in the group. I'm so glad I found them all! Here's to many great friendships!
I feel so blessed and lucky to be on this journey, and I'm so excited about what the next year will bring!
I can't sleep, I either stop eating or I become the biggest emotional eater ever. I sit and just stare into space and stress out. I gets canker sores in my mouth. I get migraines. I cry a lot.
Every family, I think anyway, has financial ups and downs. Stuart and I have had our fair share over the years we've been together, some big and some not so big. It doens't seem to matter how tiny the financial problem is, I still become super stressed out.
This week something stressed me out, and I began down the road that I normally do of super-stress-mania. About half a day into this, I suddenly stopped and thought to myself "what am I doing?!?".
I decided I don't want to live my life stressing out over every tiny bump in the road. There will be many bumps in the road. No matter how hard you try, there will always be something that goes wrong. And so there should be! It's how we learn and grow and learn to APPRECIATE the things we have.
So that's where I am. I've decided to give up the stressing and the anxiousness I feel when we have a problem. I take deep breaths, I sit and have a tea by myself. I play with my two awesome little boys that make me laugh. Before I knew it, I felt so much better!
The other thing I've come to notice about stressful times, whether it be financially or some other issue, is that things always work themselves out. At least so far for us! We always find a way, and we always get through it together.
On another note, the community that came with my school is absolutely incredible! My fellow classmates are from all over the world and so supportive and loving! We all have made our health a priority, and there seems to be so many happy people in the group. I'm so glad I found them all! Here's to many great friendships!
I feel so blessed and lucky to be on this journey, and I'm so excited about what the next year will bring!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Forgive
I have a friend that is doing the same program I am through Integrative Nutrition. She's a bit ahead of me, and it was her that inspired me to sign up. She's been such a supportive friend and yesterday she was able to help me deal with something that has been keeping me up at night.
Losing a friend is never easy. It's hard no matter what, but it is especially difficult when it happens on angry terms. I overthink everything naturally, and I'm very quick tempered. I have learned a lot about myself this year so far, and the one thing I learned yesterday I think is the most important.
I need to learn to let go and forgive others for hurting me.
I know I've done nothing wrong, and if I could go back I would handle myself and the situation in question the exact same way. I'm proud of myself for keeping my cool and for showing strength and dignity when I could have instead "lost it".
Now I find myself full of anxiety and feeling like I DID do wrong. Even though I KNOW I didn't. It's not fair to myself to think like this, and it's wasting a lot of energy on someone that doesn't deserve it.
I realize after talking to this friend yesterday, that none of what happened was my fault. It was me that got the angry and hurt words because I told someone something they didn't want to hear. They weren't ready to face reality, and likely never will. They are controlled by their "ego", and anger is an easier emotion then dealing with all the other emotions and problems that exist in their current life. This person is hurt, embarassed, ashamed, confused and lost. I was the one that was close when they realized all this, but instead of being an adult and dealing with it, they chose the easy way out and I was better to lash out at then themselves.
While I would never find myself in a friendship role with this person again, I forgive them for their years of lashing out and insecurities. That's okay, because none of it has to do with me. I'm a good friend and I tried, my damndest, to help and make this person comfortable in their own skin.
I forgive myself for giving up control of my own emotions and allowing them to be clouded by anger and fear. I have nothing to be ashamed of in how I acted or the things that I said.
I will now move forward and live the life I work hard for and enjoy every single moment without a single regret. I have a beautiful family, loving and supportive friends, and so much to look forward to. I am letting go of the years I put myself, albeit unnecessarily but with good intentions, in the middle of something I clearly could not fix. I know that one day this person will realize the error of her many ways and hopefully forgive herself too.
Thank you Fiona, for being so wonderful. I owe you more then I could ever possibly put into words. xoxo
Losing a friend is never easy. It's hard no matter what, but it is especially difficult when it happens on angry terms. I overthink everything naturally, and I'm very quick tempered. I have learned a lot about myself this year so far, and the one thing I learned yesterday I think is the most important.
I need to learn to let go and forgive others for hurting me.
I know I've done nothing wrong, and if I could go back I would handle myself and the situation in question the exact same way. I'm proud of myself for keeping my cool and for showing strength and dignity when I could have instead "lost it".
Now I find myself full of anxiety and feeling like I DID do wrong. Even though I KNOW I didn't. It's not fair to myself to think like this, and it's wasting a lot of energy on someone that doesn't deserve it.
I realize after talking to this friend yesterday, that none of what happened was my fault. It was me that got the angry and hurt words because I told someone something they didn't want to hear. They weren't ready to face reality, and likely never will. They are controlled by their "ego", and anger is an easier emotion then dealing with all the other emotions and problems that exist in their current life. This person is hurt, embarassed, ashamed, confused and lost. I was the one that was close when they realized all this, but instead of being an adult and dealing with it, they chose the easy way out and I was better to lash out at then themselves.
While I would never find myself in a friendship role with this person again, I forgive them for their years of lashing out and insecurities. That's okay, because none of it has to do with me. I'm a good friend and I tried, my damndest, to help and make this person comfortable in their own skin.
I forgive myself for giving up control of my own emotions and allowing them to be clouded by anger and fear. I have nothing to be ashamed of in how I acted or the things that I said.
I will now move forward and live the life I work hard for and enjoy every single moment without a single regret. I have a beautiful family, loving and supportive friends, and so much to look forward to. I am letting go of the years I put myself, albeit unnecessarily but with good intentions, in the middle of something I clearly could not fix. I know that one day this person will realize the error of her many ways and hopefully forgive herself too.
Thank you Fiona, for being so wonderful. I owe you more then I could ever possibly put into words. xoxo
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Messy House!
One of the many things I've learned this week is that I am obsessively clean. I kind of already knew this fact, but while doing some schoolwork I was asked the question, "what do you spend a majority of your time doing?". While caring for my children isn't time wasted (not to mention it is necessary), it came a close second to cleaning. I think I actually spend most of my time cleaning. Or thinking about cleaning. When I thought about how much cleaning and "planning to clean" I do every single day, it's a little concerning! Becoming a mother made me a neat freak. To the point of OCD tendencies. I hate a messy house, and I wake up every morning and while eating breakfast I think about all the CLEANING I have to do that day. Even after I clean, I still make lists (mentally or written down.... I'm the queen of lists!) of what I need to clean. My house is always pretty spotless. If I know someone is coming over, or if I know Stu is on his way home from work, I start cleaning all over again. It's consuming.
I realized I need to let go of this. Stu says he doesn't care if he comes home and the house is messy and he has to clean a bit. If I clean less, I would be able to spend more time doing the things I love... like playing with my kids, or going to ride my horse. Who cares if it's clean!
I think a lot of this stems from when I was a kid and my mom was a SAHM. She always made sure the house was spotless before my dad came home because if she didn't, he'd ask "what were you doing all day?". He expected a clean house, clean kids and food on the table for him. When I talked to my mom about this, she told me it was like that in her house as a kid growing up. Her mother was the same. The "tidy your room and clean yourself up, your father is on his way home" was said every single day. The mother was the protector and didn't want the father to know that anything besides cleaning and cooking and caring for children was done that day... along with awaiting his arrival home from work so he can be served.
I love my dad and I love my papa (who died when I was young) but they both need a smack.
When I am 90 years old, I don't want my biggest accomplishment to be that my house was always spotless.
Screw cleaning! Here's to a messy house!
I realized I need to let go of this. Stu says he doesn't care if he comes home and the house is messy and he has to clean a bit. If I clean less, I would be able to spend more time doing the things I love... like playing with my kids, or going to ride my horse. Who cares if it's clean!
I think a lot of this stems from when I was a kid and my mom was a SAHM. She always made sure the house was spotless before my dad came home because if she didn't, he'd ask "what were you doing all day?". He expected a clean house, clean kids and food on the table for him. When I talked to my mom about this, she told me it was like that in her house as a kid growing up. Her mother was the same. The "tidy your room and clean yourself up, your father is on his way home" was said every single day. The mother was the protector and didn't want the father to know that anything besides cleaning and cooking and caring for children was done that day... along with awaiting his arrival home from work so he can be served.
I love my dad and I love my papa (who died when I was young) but they both need a smack.
When I am 90 years old, I don't want my biggest accomplishment to be that my house was always spotless.
Screw cleaning! Here's to a messy house!
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
New Beginnings
My first day of school was yesterday! I loved it so much more then I ever thought I would. I have realized now that a big part of my happiness, and probably any mother really, is to make time for myself!
Tonight I am going for my first haircut in 2 years. I went to the barn on the weekend and had a whole day with my very hairy horse, without the kids. And last night when Stu got home, I passed the kids to him so I could shower in peace, and then when the kids were FINALLY in bed I poured myself a big glass of wine to celebrate.
Finn is getting his 2 bottom front teeth and is so miserable. I think he'll look even cuter with some little baby teeth, but it's still hard to believe he's big enough for teeth! He started having cereal this week and loves it, and I started to purée food to freeze and stock up on for when he starts that as well. I think he'll be ready soon!
Here's some pictures of my very hairy horse this past weekend.
I've also become interested in meditation. I haven't tried it yet, but I LOVE the idea of sitting alone in a quiet room and just closing my eyes and being at peace with my thoughts. If only there was such a room in my house! Stu and I are thinking about changing our dining room (that we never use!) into a home office for me and my business. It would be especially good for when I have clients coming to the house. I'm hoping to close it off, which might also make it perfect for meditation! Fingers crossed! I can't wait to see what this year will bring!
Sunday, March 17, 2013
What's in a Name?
Tomorrow is the first day of school!
I've been doing course work that was suggested before starting tomorrow and I began thinking about what I should call my health coaching business. I want something creative, but I couldn't think of anything. My mind just kept drawing a blank.
I finally decided on Cleary Health and Wellness. I think it sounds professional, and while I wanted to stick with "The Veggie Stew" I think that makes it sound like I would only cater to vegetarian/vegan clients, which I won't be.
I've come up with so many ideas for creating and sustaining a health coaching business, I sometimes will even think of something right before falling asleep and have to ingrain that idea into memory so I won't forget (getting up to write it down would take far too much effort once I'm already cozy in my warm bed!). I even realized that over the years I've come up with a lot of recipes all on my own and some of them I'm really proud of. It would be a neat idea to compile them all into a cookbook. Whether I actually find the time to really organize it and send it into a publisher or if I just put it together and include it in a package for clients that sign up with me as some extra healthy recipes for them to try while on their journey to a healthier life, who knows! It might be fun to try either option!
Some of my lectures (most of them!) that I've been listening to in preparation for tomorrow are so motivating! I'm so enjoying listening to others speak who have accomplished so much!
One of the speakers quoted Martin Luther King Jr and I found it so inspiring.
“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
I've been doing course work that was suggested before starting tomorrow and I began thinking about what I should call my health coaching business. I want something creative, but I couldn't think of anything. My mind just kept drawing a blank.
I finally decided on Cleary Health and Wellness. I think it sounds professional, and while I wanted to stick with "The Veggie Stew" I think that makes it sound like I would only cater to vegetarian/vegan clients, which I won't be.
I've come up with so many ideas for creating and sustaining a health coaching business, I sometimes will even think of something right before falling asleep and have to ingrain that idea into memory so I won't forget (getting up to write it down would take far too much effort once I'm already cozy in my warm bed!). I even realized that over the years I've come up with a lot of recipes all on my own and some of them I'm really proud of. It would be a neat idea to compile them all into a cookbook. Whether I actually find the time to really organize it and send it into a publisher or if I just put it together and include it in a package for clients that sign up with me as some extra healthy recipes for them to try while on their journey to a healthier life, who knows! It might be fun to try either option!
Some of my lectures (most of them!) that I've been listening to in preparation for tomorrow are so motivating! I'm so enjoying listening to others speak who have accomplished so much!
One of the speakers quoted Martin Luther King Jr and I found it so inspiring.
“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Friday, March 15, 2013
I'm a Student again!
I start school on this coming Monday the 18th!
I'm so so SOOOO excited! I don't remember ever being this excited about school, I remember it being so dull! I feel a little overwhelmed by the massive overload of information and I'm going to be doing some major time management juggling to try and make sure I can stretch myself to every corner. I'm lucky Stu is supportive, and hopefully he'll be home early enough in the evenings to take over the bedtime routine so I can get some work done.
It's been so long since I've been a student!
Hopefully I won't be too busy to blog! It's been such a saving grace this winter while being stuck inside with all the cold weather! Here's hoping it warms up before the easter weekend so we can spend some time outside playing!
It's amazing how something like school has already helped my emotional and mental state before even starting! Having that time to myself has been so nice, even if I am reading and watching lectures to prepare myself for Monday. Hopefully that continues!
I'm so so SOOOO excited! I don't remember ever being this excited about school, I remember it being so dull! I feel a little overwhelmed by the massive overload of information and I'm going to be doing some major time management juggling to try and make sure I can stretch myself to every corner. I'm lucky Stu is supportive, and hopefully he'll be home early enough in the evenings to take over the bedtime routine so I can get some work done.
It's been so long since I've been a student!
Hopefully I won't be too busy to blog! It's been such a saving grace this winter while being stuck inside with all the cold weather! Here's hoping it warms up before the easter weekend so we can spend some time outside playing!
It's amazing how something like school has already helped my emotional and mental state before even starting! Having that time to myself has been so nice, even if I am reading and watching lectures to prepare myself for Monday. Hopefully that continues!
Friday, March 8, 2013
Responsibility
A friend suggested a documentary and I decided to watch it today while kiddies were napping. It's called "Food Matters". I am blown away by how many documentary have been made in the last 5 years about our health crisis! It makes me so happy that these movies have been made and that people are watching them!
One thing that was mentioned in the movie that really spoke to me, was how our health is our responsibility. It is! No one else is in charge of how we take care of our body. There are so many diets out there that lead people in the wrong direction, and so many people start these diets half-heartedly and are literally doomed to fail and end up yo-yo dieting. You have to be willing to read, research and DIG and find out all you can about the health epidemic and then WANT to change. Otherwise, like any other diet, you are doomed to fail. Sure, eating that bag of chips, or that popcorn, or that chocolate bar would make you feel so good at the time. And taste SO good!
...But wouldn't you rather be healthy? To have that satisfaction that you are disease free, not overweight, reducing your chance of chronic illness by more then 50%, have more energy, save money, be balanced body and mind? Not to mention the mental and emotional benefits to eating properly! The self-satisfaction is endless!
It takes a lifestyle change.
Here's a link to the trailer for Food Matters.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4DOQ6Xhqss
One thing that was mentioned in the movie that really spoke to me, was how our health is our responsibility. It is! No one else is in charge of how we take care of our body. There are so many diets out there that lead people in the wrong direction, and so many people start these diets half-heartedly and are literally doomed to fail and end up yo-yo dieting. You have to be willing to read, research and DIG and find out all you can about the health epidemic and then WANT to change. Otherwise, like any other diet, you are doomed to fail. Sure, eating that bag of chips, or that popcorn, or that chocolate bar would make you feel so good at the time. And taste SO good!
...But wouldn't you rather be healthy? To have that satisfaction that you are disease free, not overweight, reducing your chance of chronic illness by more then 50%, have more energy, save money, be balanced body and mind? Not to mention the mental and emotional benefits to eating properly! The self-satisfaction is endless!
It takes a lifestyle change.
Here's a link to the trailer for Food Matters.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4DOQ6Xhqss
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Things Kids Say...
This morning Gage came into my room after I had just gotten dressed and was settling down to nurse Finn and asked me, "Mom, what did you do last night?" I responded with "I slept, in my bed. What did you do last night?" and he said, "I growed! In my bed! See? I'm a man now!"
I laughed for a full 10 minutes, at least, and am still chuckling to myself when I think about it.
I need a lot of positive vibes sent my way and fingers crossed. On Friday I have a meeting to see if I qualify for a student loan to do the Integrative Nutrition course and become a Health Coach. There is a new semester starting March 18th that I would like to be apart of, and if I don't get this loan I won't be able to do it until at least the next semester which is 6 months from now. I know I would excel being a Health Coach and to have something so close within reach yet so far away makes me so nervous. I've been trying to stay postitive but that's really hard for a pessismist like me!
Fingers crossed!
I laughed for a full 10 minutes, at least, and am still chuckling to myself when I think about it.
I need a lot of positive vibes sent my way and fingers crossed. On Friday I have a meeting to see if I qualify for a student loan to do the Integrative Nutrition course and become a Health Coach. There is a new semester starting March 18th that I would like to be apart of, and if I don't get this loan I won't be able to do it until at least the next semester which is 6 months from now. I know I would excel being a Health Coach and to have something so close within reach yet so far away makes me so nervous. I've been trying to stay postitive but that's really hard for a pessismist like me!
Fingers crossed!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Love Your Body
I know this is easier then said then done, especially for all those mama's out there with bodies that have endured pregnancy and childbirth.
We live in a society with so many images of what "should" be the "norm". It all rolls into women everywhere dieting, covering up and hating themselves. It makes me sad.
My mom (sorry mom) is one that dyes her hair (again, sorry mom!), buys into the anti-aging products on the market and so rarely leaves the house without her makeup on. If you go to the local drug store and walk down the aisles in the beauty section, there are shelves upon shelves full of anti-aging cream and products that are supposed to make stretch marks "disappear".
The commercials for Victoria Secret literally make me see red. Our children grow up watching those commercials, and those like them, and believe THAT is the image of a "perfect" woman.
I LOVE my stretch marks! I have no problem with them, and would have no problem baring them all in a bikini. I earned them! Those stretch marks mean that I carried life inside me (twice) and birthed TWO healthy, beautiful boys. There should be NO SHAME in that! I think we need to learn to embrace our post-baby bodies.
These images here sum up exactly how I feel:
"A mark for every breath you took, every blink, every sleepy yawn. One for every time you sucked your thumb, waved hello, closed your eyes and slept in the most perfect darkness. One for every time you had the hiccups. One for every dream you dreamed within me. It isn't very pretty anymore. Some may even think it ugly. That's ok. It was your home. It help you until my arms could. And for that I will always find something beautiful in it."
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Unspoken
There seems to be this unspoken rule about post postpartum depression. That we shouldn't talk about it. It's shameful. It means you're weak. Crazy. Emotional. Depressed.
I am not ashamed to admit that I am suffering from post postpartum depression. I did not know much about it, and never in a million years did I think it would affect me. As a teenager, I suffered from depression at a certain stage in my life. I always just chalked it up to those crazy teenager emotions and to be honest, I just sort of laugh it off now.
I made an appointment with my family doctor a few weeks ago because I knew I needed help. I would have a bad day and I would feel like nothing could possibly make me feel better. My beautiful children could not cheer me up. My wonderfully understanding husband could not make it better. The little things I took such joy in previously seemed so gloomy. I was just always miserable and on the verge of panic. I was lucky to get into my doctor fairly quickly, and upon hearing my concerns, my doctor sat down and listened to me ramble about how dark I feel some days. He took me seriously, and told me it is NOT my fault. There is nothing that can explain why I feel this way, that thousands of researchers have tried to find and explanation for post postpartum depression to no avail, so I shouldn't try to explain it either. He also said that because I was previously depressed as a teen, I was absolutely prone to it again. He told me I need to make sure I make time for myself. Take a bath, read a book, sit and relax with a tea. Go visit my incredibly wonderful horse. He prescribed me a very mild anti-depressant (that is safe to take while nursing) and I've just made sure that I stop and take a deep breath. I think to myself how bad days don't mean the world is ending, that I need to remember that my children will never EVER be this small again and to enjoy every second. That housework will wait. Bills will wait (sort of). I also make sure that I talk about it to my husband and my close friends. I'm lucky to have a great group of friends from my barn. Most of them are mothers and so understanding. One of them suggested taking vitamins, and to eat better and take care of myself. The less tired I feel and the better I take care of myself, the better I will feel mentally and emotionally.
I also started seriously thinking about where I want my life to go. I do not want to be a stay-at-home mom forever. I want a career of my own that I love and one that brings me happiness. I want to help animals and I want to help people. I found this online program- through a friend- that I am really interested in. I would have a year of school and then graduate to become a "Health Coach". I'm still in the process of researching, but so far I am so excited about what I've read. I'm already so passionate about nutrition and truly believe that the health crisis that exists can only be solved by good nutrition and healthy living, and this program just expands on those ideals. It sounds right up my alley!
I read this post today on Facebook and I think it put a lot into perspective for me. I'll share it here, because I think it will speak volumes to other parents as well.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
The Kind Life
I haven't posted anything about being a veggie in a while, because I don't make it my goal to be a "preachy" person. But because this blog is something I started about my kids and my kids are veggies, it's semi-related!
My sister recently sent me the link to a video online discussing all the "bad stuff" that is in food. She was horrified, and couldn't believe how long she'd eaten so many of the things featured in the video without a second thought. We started texting back and forth about how Stu and I buy items from the health food store and try to find things (from household cleaning supplies to our fruit and veggies) that are naturally derived and free from chemicals. My sister (Meghan) then said she wanted to go to the health food store next time I go. I sent her links to some of the resources that I've found useful in the past. She watched videos and read studies. She came with me to the health food store and ended up buying vitamins, free trade health items and foods, deoderant and toothpaste. She's always been a bit like me in that she is thirsty for knowledge and researches things that interest her until there is nothing left to read about the subject. She even joked "I think I'm becoming a veggie!".
I texted her yesterday and asked "have you eaten meat lately?" and she responded with "nope". She watched a movie I recommended (Earthlings) and said she cried through the whole thing and that it was crazy.
My poor parents are going to have to now add another "veggie" serving to the table at family dinners!
Another friend recently watched some videos about factory farming and decided to try the veggie lifestyle and asked for some advice. When she asked for a rundown about the food Gage eats in a day, I started thinking about the things I want Gage (and Finn) to remember when he's older. I think every parent tries to teach their children to be kind and to live compassionately. What I find odd, is that parents try to do this while feeding other animals to their children. It just makes no sense to me! I know meat eating people that are kind and live compassionately, absolutely. But I feel like part of the process of teaching our children something, anything really, is that we have to set that example ourselves. Just like when our kids are old enough to understand that swearing is bad, all parents go through the "stop swearing" phase and have that difficult time substituting a certain "F" word with something much more tame when they stub their toe. Or how we try to teach our children manners and how to use "please" and "thank you" but then behind the wheel on the way to the grocery store we have copious amounts of road rage (I might be guilty of this) and also use certain "F" words. I don't feel like we could truly succeed in teaching our children to be compassionate adults that are kind to ALL beings and to teach them that all beings are equal while also using other animals to nourish their bodies. For holiday dinners. To test on to ensure our cosmetics and health supplies are safe.
I know there are a lot of people out there who believe that the animals slaughtered for our food (or those used to test products on) are not equal to us. We are superior humans, that have through centuries become these advanced beings that have accomplished so much more then any other species on earth.
....that have become ruthless animals that with wars, murder, racism, sexism, class systems, poverty, starvation, polluting, oil spilling, genocide, and disease ridden.
Because we can?
I would like, and strive to teach, my children to grow up in a peaceful world where we don't use another species to survive. That they are to be kind to others regardless of species, class system, background, colour. So far, I think that Stu and I are on the right track.
Just some food for thought.
My sister recently sent me the link to a video online discussing all the "bad stuff" that is in food. She was horrified, and couldn't believe how long she'd eaten so many of the things featured in the video without a second thought. We started texting back and forth about how Stu and I buy items from the health food store and try to find things (from household cleaning supplies to our fruit and veggies) that are naturally derived and free from chemicals. My sister (Meghan) then said she wanted to go to the health food store next time I go. I sent her links to some of the resources that I've found useful in the past. She watched videos and read studies. She came with me to the health food store and ended up buying vitamins, free trade health items and foods, deoderant and toothpaste. She's always been a bit like me in that she is thirsty for knowledge and researches things that interest her until there is nothing left to read about the subject. She even joked "I think I'm becoming a veggie!".
I texted her yesterday and asked "have you eaten meat lately?" and she responded with "nope". She watched a movie I recommended (Earthlings) and said she cried through the whole thing and that it was crazy.
My poor parents are going to have to now add another "veggie" serving to the table at family dinners!
Another friend recently watched some videos about factory farming and decided to try the veggie lifestyle and asked for some advice. When she asked for a rundown about the food Gage eats in a day, I started thinking about the things I want Gage (and Finn) to remember when he's older. I think every parent tries to teach their children to be kind and to live compassionately. What I find odd, is that parents try to do this while feeding other animals to their children. It just makes no sense to me! I know meat eating people that are kind and live compassionately, absolutely. But I feel like part of the process of teaching our children something, anything really, is that we have to set that example ourselves. Just like when our kids are old enough to understand that swearing is bad, all parents go through the "stop swearing" phase and have that difficult time substituting a certain "F" word with something much more tame when they stub their toe. Or how we try to teach our children manners and how to use "please" and "thank you" but then behind the wheel on the way to the grocery store we have copious amounts of road rage (I might be guilty of this) and also use certain "F" words. I don't feel like we could truly succeed in teaching our children to be compassionate adults that are kind to ALL beings and to teach them that all beings are equal while also using other animals to nourish their bodies. For holiday dinners. To test on to ensure our cosmetics and health supplies are safe.
I know there are a lot of people out there who believe that the animals slaughtered for our food (or those used to test products on) are not equal to us. We are superior humans, that have through centuries become these advanced beings that have accomplished so much more then any other species on earth.
....that have become ruthless animals that with wars, murder, racism, sexism, class systems, poverty, starvation, polluting, oil spilling, genocide, and disease ridden.
Because we can?
I would like, and strive to teach, my children to grow up in a peaceful world where we don't use another species to survive. That they are to be kind to others regardless of species, class system, background, colour. So far, I think that Stu and I are on the right track.
Just some food for thought.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
A Little Late...
I meant to post this on Valentines Day but never got around to it!
Just a warning to anyone reading that this is going to be a sappy post.
I have the best husband in the WHOLE world. He's really really really really REALLY great.
Every couple has ups and downs in their relationship, but it seems no matter what kind of hand life deals us, Stu and I always hold a united front. I can always depend on him to pick up the pieces when I have a bad day, and he's the best daddy to my boys. Sometimes we bicker like crazy, sometimes he pisses me off and I give him the "silent your-in-the-dog-house treatment", sometimes his jokes aren't funny, sometimes he "forgets" to shave and his patchy beard is gross, sometimes he yells in his sleep or snores his face off and keeps me awake, sometimes he has the WORST gas EVER. Sometimes he's the most stubborn mule on EARTH. Sometimes he is super loud in the morning when he gets up for work, sometimes he is a bit of a piggy and drops food all over the kitchen floor.....
But then he makes up for it by all the awesome things he does.
He's super hard working. He's really really really smart. He's funnier then I usually want to admit. He's a really good friend to his friends. He's silly. He acts all shy at first when he meets people but really, he's SUPER loud. He tells me I'm beautiful when I know I'm not, and he tells me he loves me when I'm sure I don't deserve it. He and I share the same parenting ideals. He's a great cook. He cleans (without being asked). He yells at me when I need it. He sings silly songs to our boys. He never hesitates to catch puke and sooth a sick Gage when he needs it. He makes sacrifices so I can have alone time and time at the barn with my horse.
Really, the list goes on.
This past Family Day, after a really rough week, Stu and I left Gage with my parents (he had a tiny cold) and we packed Finn up to go to the barn. Stu sat on a chair in the indoor arena cuddling a baby while I rode my horse. It was -15 outside. He was also seated right next to the muck bucket full of horse poop. Not only did he not complain, but he watched me ride and applauded Dusty's accomplishments right along with me.
I think I'm the luckiest girl in the whole world. I love you Stu!
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| Dusty on a platform |
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| Barn Baby! |
Friday, February 15, 2013
Craft Time
Just thought I'd share a cute craft Gage and I did recently!
I gave him a baking sheet with a layer of baking soda spread on it (cover table with newspaper to start but this craft really isn't messy!) and a bowl of vinegar. We used food colouring to make it more fun, and it makes it more holiday appropriate (green for upcoming St Patty's day). We used an old medicine dropper but any little things can be used and would make it more fun. He used the medicine dropper to suck up vinegar and drop it onto the baking soda. So simple but so fun! He played with this for over an hour, I just had to refill his baking soda an vinegar once. Every time he dropped vinegar on the baking soda he yelled "whoa!". We will definitely be doing this again soon!
I gave him a baking sheet with a layer of baking soda spread on it (cover table with newspaper to start but this craft really isn't messy!) and a bowl of vinegar. We used food colouring to make it more fun, and it makes it more holiday appropriate (green for upcoming St Patty's day). We used an old medicine dropper but any little things can be used and would make it more fun. He used the medicine dropper to suck up vinegar and drop it onto the baking soda. So simple but so fun! He played with this for over an hour, I just had to refill his baking soda an vinegar once. Every time he dropped vinegar on the baking soda he yelled "whoa!". We will definitely be doing this again soon!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
More Advice
I posted on thebump.com yesterday to see if any other mom's had breastfeeding advice to offer and a few more mom's posted.
Here's the link to that too!
http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/71653648.aspx
Here's the link to that too!
http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/71653648.aspx
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
My Advice
Finn is now 4 months old (where does the time go?!). He's a big guy, super happy almost all the time, and we are still successfully breastfeeding. I had a really REALLY hard time in the beginning. After all the issues we had, I think a lot now about how much I learned about breastfeeding and look at how far we've come. I came really close to giving up so many times. Sticking through breastfeeding was hard, probably the hardest thing I've done (even more so then labor itself!) but it is oh-so rewarding now.
I thought I'd compile a list of things that I wish someone had told me at the beginning of it all. I did attempt to nurse Gage as well as a baby, but gave up after a month. Whether it is your first baby or your 4th, there is only so much you can read about before actually having that baby.
1. My number one thing that I'd share with other mom's that are going to try breastfeeding is DO NOT BUY BOTTLES OR FORMULA. If you are going to try breastfeeding, give it 100% before deciding it's too hard and that you can't do it. The guilt I felt after stopping with Gage is still something I carry with me. It is unbelievably easy to give in to a bottle full of formula at 3am when your baby wakes up hungry and you are in pain from nursing. Having it in your home makes it that much easier to quit. I would have quit with Finn, easily, if I'd had bottles and formula in my kitchen.
2. Don't be shy about asking for help. Go to your family doctor, a lactation consultant, a midwife, clinics at the hospital, La Leche League. Just do it. Don't be shy. Nothing bad could possibly come from it.
3. It will hurt. I know there are some breastfeeding experts out there that will claim that "it shouldn't hurt" and "if it hurts then something is wrong". But really, it's only the rare few mom's that give birth, place that baby on their breast and have them latch on perfectly and off they go in perfect harmony. That is NOT the norm. There is an adjustment period where you BOTH are learning how it works and that adjustment period is HARD. Grit your teeth, get through it. It DOES get WAY better. Promise.
4. Invest in washable breastpads. I could not believe how far breastfeeding supplies have come since I gave birth to Gage in 2009. Breastpads especially have changed so much. I bought a brand called "Bamboobies" (http://www.buybamboobies.com/) and they are pretty amazing. They are comfortable, have night and day pads, and not overly expensive. I highly recommend. Not to mention continually buying disposable pads is really expensive.
5. Invest in a good cream. I never had much luck with the Lanolin type creams from the baby stores. I bought the Bamboobies brand online and LOVE it. It's certified organic, safe for baby and it WORKS. When the cream you bought doesn't work and you are in pain, ask your doctor/midwife to prescibe APNO cream. Dr Jack Newman compiled a list of ingredients into a cream that is anti-fungal, anti-bacterial and a pain reliever. You won't regret it. (and all doctors/midwives know about it)
6. Experiment with different holds and positions. In the beginning, some work way better then others.
7. Do not let the fear of nursing in public stop you from breastfeeding altogether!!! I can't seem to stress this enough. It makes me sad that mom's would consider not breastfeeding at all just because they don't want to "expose" themselves in public. There are some really great covers out nowadays (I have one that doubles as a cute scarf and drapes all over me so no one can see a THING) and if you do a little research, there are also wraps/carriers that make nursing easier in public. My moby is awesome for nursing in public. You can also buy nursing tops that make things easier, or dress in layers (which is what I do). I put a tank top on, then another shirt on top. When it's time to nurse, just sit, lift the first top up and pull the bottom top down and no one would see anything. Not to mention that if anyone stares or says anything remember that it is YOUR RIGHT to feed your baby. It is illegal to ask a nursing mother to leave or cover up. It is absolutely intimidating to do the first time, there is a moment of anxiety most mom's feel. But then you do it once and it gets better every time.
8. Invest in a decent pump. There will absolutely be times where you will want to have some time to yourself or sleep through the night. A good pump can help you achieve that and enable dad to spend some time with baby.
9. Do not use just any ol' bottle to feed baby that pumped milk. This was the mistake I made with Gage. Babies find it much easier to use a bottle, so when going back to the breast they have a hard time adjusting back to it (known as "nipple confusion"). Stu and I found this one bottle by Medela that is specifically for breastfed babies. It is not overly expensive and it has a nipple that Finn has to latch onto just like a breast. That way he can go right back to breastfeeding with no issues. *On another note* I personally would not recommend pumping and bottle feeding breastmilk until AFTER the first month or AFTER you get the hang of breastfeeding. Adding another element to adjust to is confusing and just too much. No to mention pumping does change your supply, so wait until it is already regulated before trying.
10. Go easy on yourself. In the beginning there are a lot of ups and downs and your tired, emotional, in recovery and adjusting to this new little bundle. I used to say it takes 1 month to get the hang of breastfeeding. Finn and I didn't get the hang of it until 2 months. It seems that most other mom's I've talked to about this said that it all of a sudden "clicked". One day it's miserable and the next it's awesome. And then you never have to look back and things are a million times easier!
11. Last and not least, buy some good nursing bras! I started off using those tank tops with built in bras (which were great in the beginning!) but 4 months later I use my nursing bras and find them to have the support I need and they are more comfortable to sleep in.
I know it's intimidating and scary and painful. So many mom's give up within that first month because no one warns you how freaking hard it is. I can absolutely guarentee that it is worth every single second of pain. Please remember that you are NOT alone! There are tons of mom's out there struggling and are having the EXACT same issues as you. Another change I noticed that wasn't around while I was nursing Gage was that there is so much more online support. I wish I'd found it while I was attempting to nurse Gage, I remember feeling so alone in my problems with him. Here are some helpful links:
www.theleakyboob.com
http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/4615093/ShowForum.aspx (The Bump has an online community where mom's can find breastfeeding advice from other mom's)
http://www.nbci.ca/
http://community.babycentre.co.uk/groups/a2975/breastfeeding (online community for BabyCenter)
I also found YouTube videos super helpful. Just search for "Breastfeeding help" or enter whatever specific problem you are having.
This product was also a big lifesaver. http://www.mymilkies.com/ It collects the milk that leaks from the opposite side you nurse on. You can collect a ton of milk this way without pumping!
I hope this helps a mom struggling with breastfeeding or prepares a mom about to try. :)
I thought I'd compile a list of things that I wish someone had told me at the beginning of it all. I did attempt to nurse Gage as well as a baby, but gave up after a month. Whether it is your first baby or your 4th, there is only so much you can read about before actually having that baby.
1. My number one thing that I'd share with other mom's that are going to try breastfeeding is DO NOT BUY BOTTLES OR FORMULA. If you are going to try breastfeeding, give it 100% before deciding it's too hard and that you can't do it. The guilt I felt after stopping with Gage is still something I carry with me. It is unbelievably easy to give in to a bottle full of formula at 3am when your baby wakes up hungry and you are in pain from nursing. Having it in your home makes it that much easier to quit. I would have quit with Finn, easily, if I'd had bottles and formula in my kitchen.
2. Don't be shy about asking for help. Go to your family doctor, a lactation consultant, a midwife, clinics at the hospital, La Leche League. Just do it. Don't be shy. Nothing bad could possibly come from it.
3. It will hurt. I know there are some breastfeeding experts out there that will claim that "it shouldn't hurt" and "if it hurts then something is wrong". But really, it's only the rare few mom's that give birth, place that baby on their breast and have them latch on perfectly and off they go in perfect harmony. That is NOT the norm. There is an adjustment period where you BOTH are learning how it works and that adjustment period is HARD. Grit your teeth, get through it. It DOES get WAY better. Promise.
4. Invest in washable breastpads. I could not believe how far breastfeeding supplies have come since I gave birth to Gage in 2009. Breastpads especially have changed so much. I bought a brand called "Bamboobies" (http://www.buybamboobies.com/) and they are pretty amazing. They are comfortable, have night and day pads, and not overly expensive. I highly recommend. Not to mention continually buying disposable pads is really expensive.
5. Invest in a good cream. I never had much luck with the Lanolin type creams from the baby stores. I bought the Bamboobies brand online and LOVE it. It's certified organic, safe for baby and it WORKS. When the cream you bought doesn't work and you are in pain, ask your doctor/midwife to prescibe APNO cream. Dr Jack Newman compiled a list of ingredients into a cream that is anti-fungal, anti-bacterial and a pain reliever. You won't regret it. (and all doctors/midwives know about it)
6. Experiment with different holds and positions. In the beginning, some work way better then others.
7. Do not let the fear of nursing in public stop you from breastfeeding altogether!!! I can't seem to stress this enough. It makes me sad that mom's would consider not breastfeeding at all just because they don't want to "expose" themselves in public. There are some really great covers out nowadays (I have one that doubles as a cute scarf and drapes all over me so no one can see a THING) and if you do a little research, there are also wraps/carriers that make nursing easier in public. My moby is awesome for nursing in public. You can also buy nursing tops that make things easier, or dress in layers (which is what I do). I put a tank top on, then another shirt on top. When it's time to nurse, just sit, lift the first top up and pull the bottom top down and no one would see anything. Not to mention that if anyone stares or says anything remember that it is YOUR RIGHT to feed your baby. It is illegal to ask a nursing mother to leave or cover up. It is absolutely intimidating to do the first time, there is a moment of anxiety most mom's feel. But then you do it once and it gets better every time.
8. Invest in a decent pump. There will absolutely be times where you will want to have some time to yourself or sleep through the night. A good pump can help you achieve that and enable dad to spend some time with baby.
9. Do not use just any ol' bottle to feed baby that pumped milk. This was the mistake I made with Gage. Babies find it much easier to use a bottle, so when going back to the breast they have a hard time adjusting back to it (known as "nipple confusion"). Stu and I found this one bottle by Medela that is specifically for breastfed babies. It is not overly expensive and it has a nipple that Finn has to latch onto just like a breast. That way he can go right back to breastfeeding with no issues. *On another note* I personally would not recommend pumping and bottle feeding breastmilk until AFTER the first month or AFTER you get the hang of breastfeeding. Adding another element to adjust to is confusing and just too much. No to mention pumping does change your supply, so wait until it is already regulated before trying.
10. Go easy on yourself. In the beginning there are a lot of ups and downs and your tired, emotional, in recovery and adjusting to this new little bundle. I used to say it takes 1 month to get the hang of breastfeeding. Finn and I didn't get the hang of it until 2 months. It seems that most other mom's I've talked to about this said that it all of a sudden "clicked". One day it's miserable and the next it's awesome. And then you never have to look back and things are a million times easier!
11. Last and not least, buy some good nursing bras! I started off using those tank tops with built in bras (which were great in the beginning!) but 4 months later I use my nursing bras and find them to have the support I need and they are more comfortable to sleep in.
I know it's intimidating and scary and painful. So many mom's give up within that first month because no one warns you how freaking hard it is. I can absolutely guarentee that it is worth every single second of pain. Please remember that you are NOT alone! There are tons of mom's out there struggling and are having the EXACT same issues as you. Another change I noticed that wasn't around while I was nursing Gage was that there is so much more online support. I wish I'd found it while I was attempting to nurse Gage, I remember feeling so alone in my problems with him. Here are some helpful links:
www.theleakyboob.com
http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/4615093/ShowForum.aspx (The Bump has an online community where mom's can find breastfeeding advice from other mom's)
http://www.nbci.ca/
http://community.babycentre.co.uk/groups/a2975/breastfeeding (online community for BabyCenter)
I also found YouTube videos super helpful. Just search for "Breastfeeding help" or enter whatever specific problem you are having.
This product was also a big lifesaver. http://www.mymilkies.com/ It collects the milk that leaks from the opposite side you nurse on. You can collect a ton of milk this way without pumping!
I hope this helps a mom struggling with breastfeeding or prepares a mom about to try. :)
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