The week of Halloween is finally here! Gage has been wearing his fireman costume non-stop since he got it, to the point of me having to hide it because I was worried he would ruin it before trick-or-treating! He's so excited to go out for candy, I'm so sad that there is going to be a storm. I hope by the time he is ready to go out the weather is not so bad, it's not like he'll be hitting up the streets for hours! I think he'll barely finish our street before getting too tired.
Last weekend we took the kids to the barn, so I could see Dusty and so Finn could meet his 4 legged big brother. Gage met Dusty for the first time when he was 3 weeks old, so I thought it fitting that Finn meet him while also 3 weeks old. When Dusty met Gage for the first time, it was something I'll never forget. It was the same this time with Finn as well. Both memories will be something I remember when I'm old and gray. It's the sweetest thing watching him (as in Dusty) curiously snuffle such a small little baby. He even pulled the blankets down off Finn really gently so he could "see" him better. He loves Gage now that he's old enough to interact with him, he tickles him with his whiskers and makes him laugh, and Gage rode Dusty all by himself. I just have to walk slowly in front of Dusty and he follows me wherever I go, but Gage got a huge kick out of it! He kept saying, "look mom! I'm riding a horse!". Dusty is just so good and gentle with kids. I love watching how he is with my own children.
I even rode too, only 3 weeks after giving birth! I was really proud of that fact, because it was a good 8 weeks before I rode after having Gage. I felt so light and relaxed riding, and Dusty seemed to feel that and enjoy the ride too. We just toodled around and did some light work in each direction.
I can't wait until I'll be able to start doing some lessons on him, not only will it be nice to be able to leave the kids at home, but I'm looking forward to being able to ride Dusty properly for the first time.... ever? We have so many bad habits and kinks to work out. I'm excited to start our journey together, as hard as it may be. Too many people underestimate him (and me I think too!) just simply because he's so quiet and well behaved. It will be so fun to show our stuff! I know we can do it.
I'll make sure we take pictures and post our progress. I found some great support from people on a forum I've frequented for years and lots of people telling us to go for it and keep them updated. It's nice to feel so supported, I feel like everyonce else just laughs at us!
Monday, October 29, 2012
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Like a Weed....
Finn is growing like a weed! It makes me so sad already, I love the teeny tiny newborn stage. I've already had to put away clothes he's grown out of.
Stu is away for work again this week, which was unexpected and has made for a very difficult week. He's been away from Finn longer then he's been alive. We weren't anticipating that he'd have to go away 2 weeks in a row, or at all, so soon after Finn was born. I don't know how single mom's do it, my hat is off to them, I certainly couldn't do this 24/7 and stay sane.
Gage has been so hilarious with my breastfeeding Finn. He asks so many questions, and I've done my best to answer honestly. It's perfectly natural and I want him to see it that way too. We have been going out for a walk every day and then we play outside, and last week he stepped on a cricket (the kid is just BRUTAL to bugs!) and it wasn't completely dead, just half-squished. He turned to me in a panic and YELLED, "Mommy! I need your booby, quick! I have to give the bug milk to make him feel better!". I almost peed myself laughing. The things kids say! That quote will absolutely be re-told at his wedding. I'm never letting him live it down.
Breastfeeding this time around with Finn has been more of a challenge then with Gage. With Gage, my biggest struggle was sitting up to nurse because I had such a difficult recovery. We were inexperienced, so it took a bit to figure out the latch, etc, but it wasn't so bad. This time around, Finn has had a hard time figuring out a good latch. He has a tiny little jaw line and mouth, so even with opening his mouth wide and rooting, he tends to only get the nipple. It's made for some painful feedings! He's getting better, I've just found that every other night he wants to be awake and nurse all night, and the rest of the time he's up every 2 hours, on the dot, and falls asleep as soon as he's finished nursing. I'm taking it all one feeding at a time, in order to make it through. I've also found a lot of support from friends that have been in my spot before and have really helped me feel like I'm not alone and that things will get better. It has taken a lot of perserverance, and it makes me sad how so many mom's, especially first time mom's, find it so easy to give up and go to bottle feeding with formula. Breastfeeding is NOT easy. I was that first time mom that after a hard night, went and made a bottle with one of the many cans of formula I'd received in the mail for free and then there was no turning back once I had. This time around there is no formula in the house, and no bottles. I'm really determined to do it this time around, because I know it gets easier and then both Finn and I will really enjoy the bonding experience that I feel I missed out with Gage.
To all the breastfeeding mom's out there that are struggling, hang in there!
I wish I could post more but someone is waking up hungry, so duty calls!
Stu is away for work again this week, which was unexpected and has made for a very difficult week. He's been away from Finn longer then he's been alive. We weren't anticipating that he'd have to go away 2 weeks in a row, or at all, so soon after Finn was born. I don't know how single mom's do it, my hat is off to them, I certainly couldn't do this 24/7 and stay sane.
Gage has been so hilarious with my breastfeeding Finn. He asks so many questions, and I've done my best to answer honestly. It's perfectly natural and I want him to see it that way too. We have been going out for a walk every day and then we play outside, and last week he stepped on a cricket (the kid is just BRUTAL to bugs!) and it wasn't completely dead, just half-squished. He turned to me in a panic and YELLED, "Mommy! I need your booby, quick! I have to give the bug milk to make him feel better!". I almost peed myself laughing. The things kids say! That quote will absolutely be re-told at his wedding. I'm never letting him live it down.
Breastfeeding this time around with Finn has been more of a challenge then with Gage. With Gage, my biggest struggle was sitting up to nurse because I had such a difficult recovery. We were inexperienced, so it took a bit to figure out the latch, etc, but it wasn't so bad. This time around, Finn has had a hard time figuring out a good latch. He has a tiny little jaw line and mouth, so even with opening his mouth wide and rooting, he tends to only get the nipple. It's made for some painful feedings! He's getting better, I've just found that every other night he wants to be awake and nurse all night, and the rest of the time he's up every 2 hours, on the dot, and falls asleep as soon as he's finished nursing. I'm taking it all one feeding at a time, in order to make it through. I've also found a lot of support from friends that have been in my spot before and have really helped me feel like I'm not alone and that things will get better. It has taken a lot of perserverance, and it makes me sad how so many mom's, especially first time mom's, find it so easy to give up and go to bottle feeding with formula. Breastfeeding is NOT easy. I was that first time mom that after a hard night, went and made a bottle with one of the many cans of formula I'd received in the mail for free and then there was no turning back once I had. This time around there is no formula in the house, and no bottles. I'm really determined to do it this time around, because I know it gets easier and then both Finn and I will really enjoy the bonding experience that I feel I missed out with Gage.
To all the breastfeeding mom's out there that are struggling, hang in there!
I wish I could post more but someone is waking up hungry, so duty calls!
Monday, October 15, 2012
"Mirror Mirror on the Wall"
I've wanted to post about this subject for a while now, but haven't.
Mostly because it's not about my biological child, and I don't necessarily feel right about that. Once you put something on the internet, it's out there forever.
That being said, I think maybe my experience as a step mom can possibly help someone in similar shoes.
Stu has a daughter from a previous relationship who is now 7 years old. Her name is Jade, and she's been in my life since she was 3. She's adorable, silly, and in many ways just like her dad. I was really young when Stu and I started dating, and while I love kids I was no where NEAR prepared for being a stepmom. I've never really even considered myself a "stepmom", I've never tried to be a mother figure to Jade. She has a mother already. We have her on the weekends, for approximately 24 hours and usually we also have her for holidays (or we try to anyways).
I have strong opinions and I am fiercely loyal. Sometimes to a fault. I think my role as a "stepmom" has been the hardest role I've ever been in. I've been completely out of my element from day one, and despite many, many, many efforts to get along with all sides and be a good "stepmom" (or even just a friend!), I feel like a complete failure. Completely. I think at this point, after over 4 years, I've exhausted every effort.
The beginning of my step mom journey was very rocky and difficult. Stu and Jade's mom never (and I mean NEVER) got along, and I listened to fight after fight. I listened to Jade's mom call me horrible names over the phone, and I listened to her call Stu horrible things. I even had a friend over hear her at the park telling a friend about how I'm this horrible person. I've never once intervened. I've always left it up to Stu to deal with because I know by interfering, I'd only make everything worse. It's been hard to bite my tongue, but I've done it. I've stood and listened to them yell at each other, or more commonly, her yell at Stu, both before and after we were actually married, and I've been livid but never said a word. Slowly over the years, the fighting decreased and they now get along more often then not. There is still the odd time there is an argument, or something said rudely in tongue and cheek, but Stu is not one for fighting and confrontation, so for the most part he just ignores it. I think I was able to make it through the beginning because half of me was naive and thought "it will get better over time" and the other half of me was just so flabberghasted by the things being said that I didn't know how to respond. I have just always concentrated on making Jade comfortable in our home, and ensuring she has a clean room, clean sheets, toys to play with and clothes to wear. I do her hair in the mornings and make sure Stu remembers to wash her hair at bath time (being a man, that seems to slip his mind often, lol). I do her laundry, buy her birthday gifts and plan her birthday parties, and I buy her Christmas gifts too.
I've tried to be Jade's friend, or just talk to her normally like I assume a stepmom would, and we've set rules for our house that both Stu and I enforce. She's always really polite and well behaved, so we've never had any sort of issues with her. Really our rules are more "make your bed every morning" and "clean your room before going back to your mom's". It seems no matter how well her and I get along one weekend, by the next weekend I have to make this huge effort all over again to have her even just say "hello" to me when she walks in the door. It's like my relationship with her is erased every weekend. She's noticeably uncomfortable with me, and I have no idea why.
I've made a lot of effort over the years to form a close relationship with Jade, and even her mom. Last year, after a fight between both parents, I went to the library looking for books that were "self help" for step mom's. I found this great book about how making that small effort to be nice goes a long way, and the one to truly benefit from all parent figures getting along is the child, which of course is what we all want for Jade, I'm sure. I talked to Stu about it and the next weekend Jade came over, it was her mom's birthday. Jade and I baked her cookies, bought a card, everything. She never said thank you. Never acknowledged my birthday. Stu's birthday was only aknowledged because I texted her asking to have Jade call him and said Happy Birthday. I've made efforts to smile and say hello, only to be met by coldness.
It's exhausting. As horrible as it sounds, I've given up. I'm not going to force a child to have a relationship with me when it's so obvious she doesn't want it. Of course, I still make an effort, but for the most part I involve myself with my own 2 boys and that means Jade can have daddy/daughter time with Stu.
I can't talk to Stu about a lot of this, because Jade is his daughter and he doesn't and can't see things as I do. I sometimes feel completely alone in my thoughts and like I can't talk to anyone about it because no one I know is in a situation like mine. I'm sure at some point it will all blow up in our faces, but until then I've found that keeping quiet is what works best (well, until I wrote this!).
Being a stepmom is really hard. I've even found it more challenging then my role as a mother. I've tried everything I can think of to make this role easier on me, on Jade, on Stuart and on Jade's mom, only to fail miserably. I feel like a lot of the problem exists because I'm the only one making the effort.
I hope that one day when Jade is older, a teen or older, I can sit down and talk to her about all this.
I really hope that by posting this to the blog, I don't have anything bite me in the ass. I hope instead it maybe is read by another stepmom that feels like a failure, so she doesn't have to feel as alone.
Mostly because it's not about my biological child, and I don't necessarily feel right about that. Once you put something on the internet, it's out there forever.
That being said, I think maybe my experience as a step mom can possibly help someone in similar shoes.
Stu has a daughter from a previous relationship who is now 7 years old. Her name is Jade, and she's been in my life since she was 3. She's adorable, silly, and in many ways just like her dad. I was really young when Stu and I started dating, and while I love kids I was no where NEAR prepared for being a stepmom. I've never really even considered myself a "stepmom", I've never tried to be a mother figure to Jade. She has a mother already. We have her on the weekends, for approximately 24 hours and usually we also have her for holidays (or we try to anyways).
I have strong opinions and I am fiercely loyal. Sometimes to a fault. I think my role as a "stepmom" has been the hardest role I've ever been in. I've been completely out of my element from day one, and despite many, many, many efforts to get along with all sides and be a good "stepmom" (or even just a friend!), I feel like a complete failure. Completely. I think at this point, after over 4 years, I've exhausted every effort.
The beginning of my step mom journey was very rocky and difficult. Stu and Jade's mom never (and I mean NEVER) got along, and I listened to fight after fight. I listened to Jade's mom call me horrible names over the phone, and I listened to her call Stu horrible things. I even had a friend over hear her at the park telling a friend about how I'm this horrible person. I've never once intervened. I've always left it up to Stu to deal with because I know by interfering, I'd only make everything worse. It's been hard to bite my tongue, but I've done it. I've stood and listened to them yell at each other, or more commonly, her yell at Stu, both before and after we were actually married, and I've been livid but never said a word. Slowly over the years, the fighting decreased and they now get along more often then not. There is still the odd time there is an argument, or something said rudely in tongue and cheek, but Stu is not one for fighting and confrontation, so for the most part he just ignores it. I think I was able to make it through the beginning because half of me was naive and thought "it will get better over time" and the other half of me was just so flabberghasted by the things being said that I didn't know how to respond. I have just always concentrated on making Jade comfortable in our home, and ensuring she has a clean room, clean sheets, toys to play with and clothes to wear. I do her hair in the mornings and make sure Stu remembers to wash her hair at bath time (being a man, that seems to slip his mind often, lol). I do her laundry, buy her birthday gifts and plan her birthday parties, and I buy her Christmas gifts too.
I've tried to be Jade's friend, or just talk to her normally like I assume a stepmom would, and we've set rules for our house that both Stu and I enforce. She's always really polite and well behaved, so we've never had any sort of issues with her. Really our rules are more "make your bed every morning" and "clean your room before going back to your mom's". It seems no matter how well her and I get along one weekend, by the next weekend I have to make this huge effort all over again to have her even just say "hello" to me when she walks in the door. It's like my relationship with her is erased every weekend. She's noticeably uncomfortable with me, and I have no idea why.
I've made a lot of effort over the years to form a close relationship with Jade, and even her mom. Last year, after a fight between both parents, I went to the library looking for books that were "self help" for step mom's. I found this great book about how making that small effort to be nice goes a long way, and the one to truly benefit from all parent figures getting along is the child, which of course is what we all want for Jade, I'm sure. I talked to Stu about it and the next weekend Jade came over, it was her mom's birthday. Jade and I baked her cookies, bought a card, everything. She never said thank you. Never acknowledged my birthday. Stu's birthday was only aknowledged because I texted her asking to have Jade call him and said Happy Birthday. I've made efforts to smile and say hello, only to be met by coldness.
It's exhausting. As horrible as it sounds, I've given up. I'm not going to force a child to have a relationship with me when it's so obvious she doesn't want it. Of course, I still make an effort, but for the most part I involve myself with my own 2 boys and that means Jade can have daddy/daughter time with Stu.
I can't talk to Stu about a lot of this, because Jade is his daughter and he doesn't and can't see things as I do. I sometimes feel completely alone in my thoughts and like I can't talk to anyone about it because no one I know is in a situation like mine. I'm sure at some point it will all blow up in our faces, but until then I've found that keeping quiet is what works best (well, until I wrote this!).
Being a stepmom is really hard. I've even found it more challenging then my role as a mother. I've tried everything I can think of to make this role easier on me, on Jade, on Stuart and on Jade's mom, only to fail miserably. I feel like a lot of the problem exists because I'm the only one making the effort.
I hope that one day when Jade is older, a teen or older, I can sit down and talk to her about all this.
I really hope that by posting this to the blog, I don't have anything bite me in the ass. I hope instead it maybe is read by another stepmom that feels like a failure, so she doesn't have to feel as alone.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Sleep? What's that?
So far, I've survived my first week alone with both boys! Stu's first week back to work after Finn's birth took him a few hours away for work, and he's been staying in hotels all week. It's been the hardest and most challenging week of my life, but we've made it. So far. Only one night alone before he comes home tomorrow!
Gage has been challenging lately, he seems to pick the time I'm seated and nursing Finn to get into something troublesome, like he knows I can't move or do anything but talk to him. Being patient is not my strong point, but being patient while sleep deprived has been even harder.
Finn and I have had a few problems, all minor, while nursing. With Gage, I struggled to breastfeed because I had such a difficult recovery and it hurt to sit. We had some small problems with our latch, but figured it out pretty quickly. He just had such a sensitive belly and I had such a plain diet in order to keep him happy. With Finn, we've had more latch problems. He doens't open his mouth wide enough, and while I was hugely engorged (I had what Stu called "porno boobs") he got into the bad habit of only latching onto my nipple, so he made me really really REALLY sore. I'm grateful for the post partem care from my midwives this time around, because they've been super helpful in correcting the latch. We finally got things figured out, only for Finn to have his first growth spurt and want to nurse 24/7. Of course, it HAD to happen while Stu was away. It made for some LONG nights. He would eat and eat and eat and then be so full he'd throw it all up, make a huge mess, then want to eat again.
With Gage, I was for whatever reason, really reluctant to ask for breastfeeding help. I just told anyone who asked that we were all good and no problems. This time, I've asked for help and I've found some incredible resources online that have made a world of difference. Just a supportive community of other breastfeeding mom's can be such a huge help!
While I know it's harder on me in the beginning to breastfeed, or at least it has been for me because we've hit a few little speedbumps, I know it gets easier. That would be the advice that I give to anyone just starting out and are afraid of the world of breastfeeding. It's HARD work. It's frustrating sometimes, and at first you have no idea what you and baby are doing. But It gets better, and sometime around the one month mark, it becomes flawlessly easy. It is definitely not something I regret doing for a second, despite the lack of sleep and the sore nipples and the porno boobs.
I don't think any blog posts will be very long for the next little bit, as I've written this Finn has pooped and Gage has disappeared and is being very quiet. Never a good sign!
Here are some breastfeeding resources!
www.theleakyboob.com
http://www.nbci.ca/
Gage has been challenging lately, he seems to pick the time I'm seated and nursing Finn to get into something troublesome, like he knows I can't move or do anything but talk to him. Being patient is not my strong point, but being patient while sleep deprived has been even harder.
Finn and I have had a few problems, all minor, while nursing. With Gage, I struggled to breastfeed because I had such a difficult recovery and it hurt to sit. We had some small problems with our latch, but figured it out pretty quickly. He just had such a sensitive belly and I had such a plain diet in order to keep him happy. With Finn, we've had more latch problems. He doens't open his mouth wide enough, and while I was hugely engorged (I had what Stu called "porno boobs") he got into the bad habit of only latching onto my nipple, so he made me really really REALLY sore. I'm grateful for the post partem care from my midwives this time around, because they've been super helpful in correcting the latch. We finally got things figured out, only for Finn to have his first growth spurt and want to nurse 24/7. Of course, it HAD to happen while Stu was away. It made for some LONG nights. He would eat and eat and eat and then be so full he'd throw it all up, make a huge mess, then want to eat again.
With Gage, I was for whatever reason, really reluctant to ask for breastfeeding help. I just told anyone who asked that we were all good and no problems. This time, I've asked for help and I've found some incredible resources online that have made a world of difference. Just a supportive community of other breastfeeding mom's can be such a huge help!
While I know it's harder on me in the beginning to breastfeed, or at least it has been for me because we've hit a few little speedbumps, I know it gets easier. That would be the advice that I give to anyone just starting out and are afraid of the world of breastfeeding. It's HARD work. It's frustrating sometimes, and at first you have no idea what you and baby are doing. But It gets better, and sometime around the one month mark, it becomes flawlessly easy. It is definitely not something I regret doing for a second, despite the lack of sleep and the sore nipples and the porno boobs.
I don't think any blog posts will be very long for the next little bit, as I've written this Finn has pooped and Gage has disappeared and is being very quiet. Never a good sign!
Here are some breastfeeding resources!
www.theleakyboob.com
http://www.nbci.ca/
Friday, October 5, 2012
He's here! Finnigan's Birth Story....
Finnigan (Finn) was born one week ago, on the 28th at 6:16am. It was a perfect waterbirth here at home.
I'm so excited to share my birth story, and seeing as it's only a week after the fact I'm going to try to not get all post-prego emotional. It'll be hard though!
Last week at my midwife appointment, I found out I was 2 cms dilated. I was having a bad/hard week because Stu was away for work and the days with Gage while so uncomfortably pregnant were long and hard. I was exhausted by noon. I called Stu while in the parking lot after the appointment and told him that I really just needed him to come home. Luckily he has an amazing boss and was told to take however long he needed. Seeing as my biggest concern was him not making it home in time for the delivery, I was so relieved.
While I was horribly uncomfortable the rest of the day, and all day the next, there was still no "real" labor. I was glad to have Stu home to spend time with Gage. Thursday night I stayed up a little late and watched my fave shows on TV (Grey's and Scandal!) and around 10:30pm I started to get some contractions that were 3 minutes apart, but not horribly strong. Seeing as I'd had so many false starts already, I just shrugged my shoulders and took some gravol to help me sleep.
I woke up at 1am with strong contractions that were still 2-3 minutes apart. I woke Stu up and we counted a few of them before calling my midwife. She told me that I should count them and make sure there's a real pattern for the next hour, and then call her back and that she would slowly be getting herself ready too. I stretched out on my side in bed while Stu watched TV and we timed contractions. They stayed 2-3 minutes apart but they got stronger steadily. We called my midwife back after the hour and she said she was on her way. Stu called my mom and dad, who answered the phone pretty darn fast for it being 2am and told them "it's time!".
My midwife arrived soon after calling her and sat with me for a few contractions. We joked that we knew it was time because I wasn't as chatty as normal lol. I was having to really keep myself relaxed through each contraction at this point, because I was determined to let my body progress as it should and I knew that in order for it to do so I needed to keep every muscle still. Trish checked me and I was 5-6 cms dilated. Stu got the tub blown up and ready, and I couldn't wait to climb into the warm water. My midwife set up her equipment and my parents arrived with coffee for Stu. My mom snuck upstairs to see me and wish me luck, then quietly went downstairs to wait.
The tub took no time at all to get ready, and Stu helped me climb in. It was unbelievable how much better I felt, and how much it took the edge off each contraction. I can't imagine not having the water! Shortly after, the 2nd midwife arrived. Both midwives finished setting up their equipment, making our room look like a mini hospital suite, while Stu rubbed my back and sat with me through contractions. They kept getting more intense, and I was able to move around in the tub to feel more comfortable. I would lean forward over the side and hold Stu's jean pockets while I relaxed every muscle. I felt like at this point I had a really good handle on things and I managed to keep in a good zone. We even joked a little between contractions. My midwives seemed to read my mind, and every time I had a rough contraction that was a little harder to get through, they started saying such positive words of encouragement and it worked so well for me. They kept saying "your doing this, and handling it all so beautifully!" and it made me feel like I was almost there and that I could do it.
I really have no concept of time at this point, and everything seemed to be taking forever, but I was trying so hard to just stay relaxed and stay in each moment. The minute I started to think too much I became overwhelmed. Contractions got really intense, and so hard to get through alone. I would not have managed without Stu. He is always really laid back and calm, and he was my rock through the entire ordeal. He kept telling me I could do it and I was so close. Near the end we actually heard Gage wake up (I think it was around 5:30am) which we suspected would happen because of all the excitement and people coming and going. My mom met him in the hallway and he went downstairs for breakfast with my parents. He was so excited when he learned that his baby brother was on his way!
Because I had an epidural with Gage, I felt the urge to push but not NEARLY as strong as I did this time around. I didn't recognize it right away as the urge to "push", I thought it was just contractions getting REALLY strong. After 2 or 3 VERY strong contractions I started to listen to my body and slowly push. It felt SOOOOOO much better. The urge was so strong, and once I started I couldn't stop. As the baby was crowning, I got the urge to throw up, which was HORRIBLE, because anyone that knows me even just a little knows how much I HATE to puke. Right after the horrible throwing up experience, which REALLY was the worst part of the whole labor, my midwife told me that my water had never broken (I wasn't sure, because I was in the water already and hadn't felt a "gush") which means the baby would be born in the water sac (also known as a caul). I'd heard of it before, and knew it was really rare and that it was supposed to be a good luck omen for that baby. The whole pushing part of the labor didn't last long, I didn't feel like I should take a break at any point, so I just continued to push as my body told me to until he was out. Pulling him out of the water and bringing him to my chest was one of the best moments of my life. Right up there with Gage's birth and my wedding day!
The first thing I said was "he looks like Gage!" (and he does) and then I looked at Stu in disbelief and said "I did it!". I thought I would cry uncontrollably, but I think I was in such shock that I REALLY had done it without medication and on my own terms. A week has passed and I still haven't accepted it all! The emotions involved and the adrenaline I felt immediately after were nothing I've ever experienced before and probably will never experience again.
I sat in the tub with baby Finn on my chest for a little bit, getting to know each other. Stu was leaning over my shoulder and excitedly checking out his new baby. We got out of the tub slowly and one midwife tended to me while the other took baby Finn and had Stu cut the cord. I was wrapped in towels and laid down on my bed with Finn on my chest. He was really quiet when he was born, no crying, nothing. He whimpered when we got out of the tub and was taken away from me for the cord cut, then calmed right back down once he was with me again. He did the "breast crawl" and latched on within minutes.
I did have a small tear, which I was really scared about, but it was only because I'd torn with Gage. It's not NEARLY as bad as with Gage, in fact, the same day Finn was born I was able to sit perfectly normal in a wooden chair with no discomfort. A week later and I feel like I didn't even have a baby.
Stu held baby while I got up and into the shower. It was so nice to shower! I washed my hair and even contemplated shaving my legs before getting out. I climbed into comfy pajamas and crawled back into bed (the midwives were cleaning up the room and putting it all back to normal) and then one of the midwives weighed Finn. I didn't think he looked as big as Gage when he was born, Gage seemed so much more solid. I guessed he would weigh about 8 pounds, and Stu guessed 7 something. Once again, same as with Gage, we were blown away when they announced he was 9 pounds! 1 oz less then his big brother!
My parents knew at this point that there was a baby, and were DYING to come upstairs and meet him. Morning was in full swing and my mom made us a plate of food. Once the midwives tidied everything up, my parents and Gage came upstairs. Gage crawled into bed between Stu and I and held Finn. The look of awe on his face was unforgettable. He kissed his brother on the head and told him "I love you baby brother". My mom teared up as she held him, and everyone confirmed that he was (is) perfect.
My parents took Gage out to the park to play, then took him for pancakes. Stu and I curled up in bed with Finn and napped. I couldn't stop looking at him (and I still can't!), he's just so perfect!
After one week, he's been such a good baby. He never cries, is awake for long periods and so calm and curious. I know newborns can't see much but blurry shapes, but he looks RIGHT at us and follows Gage's voice when he's close by. He makes lots of little snorting noises and he sneezes like my dad.
I feel 100% better this time compared to last time with Gage. I think this time I have more patience, and sleep deprivation (so far) hasn't been so bad. It's hard to be tired when you have a sweet little baby to cuddle at 3am! I'm actually a little sad that I didn't educate myself about midwives sooner so that I could have a better experience then I did with Gage. While I don't plan on having any more babies (at all, ever) I can't imagine ever going to the hospital again for something like childbirth. Because this is our last baby, I've taken advantage of every second so that I can remember everything about Finn being this tiny. I LOVE the newborn stage, and I know one day I'll miss it so much.
Here's a link to information about babies born "in the caul", like Finn was.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caul
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