More Advice

I posted on thebump.com yesterday to see if any other mom's had breastfeeding advice to offer and a few more mom's posted.

Here's the link to that too!

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/71653648.aspx

My Advice

Finn is now 4 months old (where does the time go?!). He's a big guy, super happy almost all the time, and we are still successfully breastfeeding. I had a really REALLY hard time in the beginning. After all the issues we had, I think a lot now about how much I learned about breastfeeding and look at how far we've come. I came really close to giving up so many times. Sticking through breastfeeding was hard, probably the hardest thing I've done (even more so then labor itself!) but it is oh-so rewarding now.

I thought I'd compile a list of things that I wish someone had told me at the beginning of it all. I did attempt to nurse Gage as well as a baby, but gave up after a month. Whether it is your first baby or your 4th, there is only so much you can read about before actually having that baby.

1. My number one thing that I'd share with other mom's that are going to try breastfeeding is DO NOT BUY BOTTLES OR FORMULA. If you are going to try breastfeeding, give it 100% before deciding it's too hard and that you can't do it. The guilt I felt after stopping with Gage is still something I carry with me. It is unbelievably easy to give in to a bottle full of formula at 3am when your baby wakes up hungry and you are in pain from nursing. Having it in your home makes it that much easier to quit. I would have quit with Finn, easily, if I'd had bottles and formula in my kitchen.

2. Don't be shy about asking for help. Go to your family doctor, a lactation consultant, a midwife, clinics at the hospital, La Leche League. Just do it. Don't be shy. Nothing bad could possibly come from it.

3. It will hurt. I know there are some breastfeeding experts out there that will claim that "it shouldn't hurt" and "if it hurts then something is wrong". But really, it's only the rare few mom's that give birth, place that baby on their breast and have them latch on perfectly and off they go in perfect harmony. That is NOT the norm. There is an adjustment period where you BOTH are learning how it works and that adjustment period is HARD. Grit your teeth, get through it. It DOES get WAY better. Promise.

4. Invest in washable breastpads. I could not believe how far breastfeeding supplies have come since I gave birth to Gage in 2009. Breastpads especially have changed so much. I bought a brand called "Bamboobies" (http://www.buybamboobies.com/) and they are pretty amazing. They are comfortable, have night and day pads, and not overly expensive. I highly recommend. Not to mention continually buying disposable pads is really expensive.

5. Invest in a good cream. I never had much luck with the Lanolin type creams from the baby stores. I bought the Bamboobies brand online and LOVE it. It's certified organic, safe for baby and it WORKS. When the cream you bought doesn't work and you are in pain, ask your doctor/midwife to prescibe APNO cream. Dr Jack Newman compiled a list of ingredients into a cream that is anti-fungal, anti-bacterial and a pain reliever. You won't regret it. (and all doctors/midwives know about it)

6. Experiment with different holds and positions. In the beginning, some work way better then others.

7. Do not let the fear of nursing in public stop you from breastfeeding altogether!!! I can't seem to stress this enough. It makes me sad that mom's would consider not breastfeeding at all just because they don't want to "expose" themselves in public. There are some really great covers out nowadays (I have one that doubles as a cute scarf and drapes all over me so no one can see a THING) and if you do a little research, there are also wraps/carriers that make nursing easier in public. My moby is awesome for nursing in public. You can also buy nursing tops that make things easier, or dress in layers (which is what I do). I put a tank top on, then another shirt on top. When it's time to nurse, just sit, lift the first top up and pull the bottom top down and no one would see anything. Not to mention that if anyone stares or says anything remember that it is YOUR RIGHT to feed your baby. It is illegal to ask a nursing mother to leave or cover up. It is absolutely intimidating to do the first time, there is a moment of anxiety most mom's feel. But then you do it once and it gets better every time.

8. Invest in a decent pump. There will absolutely be times where you will want to have some time to yourself or sleep through the night. A good pump can help you achieve that and enable dad to spend some time with baby.

9. Do not use just any ol' bottle to feed baby that pumped milk. This was the mistake I made with Gage. Babies find it much easier to use a bottle, so when going back to the breast they have a hard time adjusting back to it (known as "nipple confusion"). Stu and I found this one bottle by Medela that is specifically for breastfed babies. It is not overly expensive and it has a nipple that Finn has to latch onto just like a breast. That way he can go right back to breastfeeding with no issues. *On another note* I personally would not recommend pumping and bottle feeding breastmilk until AFTER the first month or AFTER you get the hang of breastfeeding. Adding another element to adjust to is confusing and just too much. No to mention pumping does change your supply, so wait until it is already regulated before trying.

10. Go easy on yourself. In the beginning there are a lot of ups and downs and your tired, emotional, in recovery and adjusting to this new little bundle. I used to say it takes 1 month to get the hang of breastfeeding. Finn and I didn't get the hang of it until 2 months. It seems that most other mom's I've talked to about this said that it all of a sudden "clicked". One day it's miserable and the next it's awesome. And then you never have to look back and things are a million times easier!

11. Last and not least, buy some good nursing bras! I started off using those tank tops with built in bras (which were great in the beginning!) but 4 months later I use my nursing bras and find them to have the support I need and they are more comfortable to sleep in.

I know it's intimidating and scary and painful. So many mom's give up within that first month because no one warns you how freaking hard it is. I can absolutely guarentee that it is worth every single second of pain. Please remember that you are NOT alone! There are tons of mom's out there struggling and are having the EXACT same issues as you. Another change I noticed that wasn't around while I was nursing Gage was that there is so much more online support. I wish I'd found it while I was attempting to nurse Gage, I remember feeling so alone in my problems with him. Here are some helpful links:

www.theleakyboob.com

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/4615093/ShowForum.aspx (The Bump has an online community where mom's can find breastfeeding advice from other mom's)

http://www.nbci.ca/

http://community.babycentre.co.uk/groups/a2975/breastfeeding (online community for BabyCenter)

I also found YouTube videos super helpful. Just search for "Breastfeeding help" or enter whatever specific problem you are having.

This product was also a big lifesaver. http://www.mymilkies.com/ It collects the milk that leaks from the opposite side you nurse on. You can collect a ton of milk this way without pumping!

I hope this helps a mom struggling with breastfeeding or prepares a mom about to try. :)

Bully

I keep meaning to write a post about this subject, and now I finally found time to actually sit down and do it.

I was bullied as a kid. Probably not what would be considered more then normal, but bullied all the same. Girls are so brutal. In elementary school I was one of the tallest people in every class, taller then almost every other boy, and I had such a strong love and passion for horses. I started riding lessons when I was 10, and anyone that knows me knows that I have what can be tamely put "the gift of the gab". I loved talking about horses and about my lessons to anyone that would listen. In grade 7 & 8, I was friends with 2 other girls that were apart of a "group" of other girls. It was a large group, and I tended to be on the quiet side when in large groups. I have no idea what started it, I just remember at some point I was referred to as "horse girl" and things just escalated from there. It was so stupid. My best friend at the time also loved horses, also took riding lessons and even owned a horse before I did, and no one said anything to her. Just me. It progressively got worse, to the point that I dreaded recess. The boys caught on too and they also joined in the "fun" of making fun of the girl who loved horses. It somehow escalated to my classmates claiming that all I would ever accomplish in life is being a "squigie girl" that lived on the streets and cleaned car windows for coins. I have no idea what I did to make others believe that is all I would achieve in life, but they sure were ruthless in telling me over and over! Once we all got to grade 9, it just got so much worse. I remember not being able to walk down a hallway without someone making fun of me, about something random. I remember the same group of girls I went to elementary school with, along with others, gathering around me in a hallway in a semi circle as I backed into a corner and they insulted me. I hated lunch time because finding a spot in the cafeteria where I didn't sit alone or with a group of people that obviously had so much hate for me (for no reason) seemed impossible. I ended up changing schools after my grade 9 year and ended up going to a neighboring catholic highschool for the last 3 years. I loved it there, was immediately accepted for who I was, love for horses and all, and made lots of friends. I achieved high grades with minimal effort, people that found out I owned a horse would respond with "That's so cool, what's his name?" and I don't think I was humiliated once for the rest of highschool.

My grade 9 year I was in a dark place. I was lonely, sad, embarassed, and really really angry. I was mad that people that I considered friends never stood up for me, and allowed me to endure verbal torture at the hands of my peers.

Now I'm in my mid-twenties and when I hear about all the bullying going on in our schools it breaks my heart. The teen suicide rate seems to be higher then ever and each teen that takes their own life due to bullying is another failure on us as a society. My parents raised me to accept everyone, to never be mean to someone because of what they believe or how they look and to stand up for things we believe in. As a parent now, I know that even if I instill those beliefs in my own children, there is a really good chance that they will be bullied for something. While we plan on homeschooling for the elementary years, Stuart and I would still like both our boys to attend highschool. I know that I will certainly be doing all I can to prepare them for not only academic challenges they may face, but for the social ones they will face as well. I hope to raise both my boys to stand up for someone that is being bullied, no matter how funny looking they are, what their beliefs are or what religion or ethnicity. I will raise them with the belief that by allowing others to treats peers like dirt, they are also treating that individual like dirt.

Our world lacks compassion in most aspects. The only way we can change that is to show compassion for our "weaker" classmates and help them avoid that feeling of loneliness. If we raise our children to be compassionate and kind then we will be raising a society of individuals that don't poke fun at someone because they believe something.

The statistics have become astounding in schools. It makes me very angry that there are those that believe bullying is a "rite of passage" and it "builds character". No one should be made to feel lonely, sad or angry and like they need to end their life to feel at peace or escape.

I firmly believe in the mantra that "it gets better". I am absolutely living proof and there are so many others as well. Highschool (and even elementary school) is such a small part of life. The girls that bullied me in elementary school and into highschool still live in around my city, and every once in a while I see them. The worst offender, the ultimate "mean girl", at my school, has accomplished nothing positive in her life. I'm honestly not even sure if she graduated highschool. Last I heard, she worked minimum wage at a retail store and was in trouble fairly consistently with the law.

There was a movie released in the States that I've really been wanting to watch. I think I'm going to get Stuart to get it for us to watch this weekend. It has created a large anti-bully movement and has really shed light on what needs to change in our schools. Here's the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUy2ZWoStr0

Rescue Me

I thought I'd write a post about my animals, just because!

We have a dog and 2 cats (and a guinea pig too).

Our dog is Max. I got him before I met Stu, while I was living in another city. The guy I was dating at the time (who is a really good friend now) and I decided we wanted a dog. We started looking for labs on kijiji and I emailed a few people. I didn't want a puppy, I figured that would be too much work. I came across an ad for a "Lab X" and the picture on the ad captured my heart. It was a black dog, laying down with his head on muddy paws, looking away from the camera. Something about it stuck. I emailed the lady, who told me that he was a rescue and she was his foster mom. She lived in a small town with a small animal shelter that only had room for 3 dogs at a time. If another dog came in, they either refused it or euthanized the dog that had been there longest. Max had been a farm dog for a family that lived down the street from his foster mom. He was known as a "runaway" and she'd seen him a few times before and always took him home. She found out that he lived outside in a dog house and instead of getting food, he had to catch his own food. He'd never been inside before and he had obviously been abused at some point because he was super nervous and hated loud voices. He loves kids (which I didn't know until I had my own, he'd never been around them before!) and we've had people pull over to the side of the road while we are walking and ask us where we got such a handsome dog. Everyone likes to guess what breed combo he is, because he is so unique looking. Shepard/Lab was what we were told, but he looks like black shepard without the hip slant? Some people have guessed pitbull cross, Husky cross, Chow cross (the weirdest guess so far!) and Australian Kelpie. We have no idea!

I had grown up with a lab, which we bought from a breeder as a puppy. She was a typical lab that when she did something bad (like get into the garbage and rip everything to shreds) she would just wiggle around. Never once did she show remorse. Max was and is completely different from the moment he was mine. I asked to meet Max, and his foster mom drove him to me. He jumped out of the car and it was love at first site. I paid $60 and he came with a horrible case of worms and had just been treated for ticks. I would take him to the park near my house and he would always stay close to me when off leash. He caught a squirrel once, I literally blinked and it was in his mouth. I just said "MAX!" and he dropped it and came back to me. He's such a sensitive guy! He shakes like a leaf when you are getting ready to leave the house, his teeth even chatter. He's terrified of thunderstorms and snow plows. Our cats beat him up and steal his dog bed on a regular basis too. He has an incredible sense when it comes to people, and he seems to know when someone is good and when someone isn't. If I answer the door and his hair raises up and he growls, I know instantly that he doesn't like the person and it's for good reason. When I was a few months prego with Gage, I took him to go pee out back of the apartment building we lived in at the time while Stu went to the plaza next door to get cat food. I sat on a curb text messaging and waited for Max to come back to me. He did, but he kept crying and running a few steps away. I finally looked up and saw an old man had fallen a few feet away. I got up and went to him, saw Stu coming back and motioned for his help and we helped the man up. We would have seen him at some point, but Max alerted us that much sooner!

Max is typically terrified of getting his picture taken, so we usually have to catch him by surprise. He is not a normal dog. We say all the time he's part human. He comes to the barn with me all the time and is the perfect barn dog. He knows to stay out of the paddocks and waits at the gate while I bring Dusty in. He and Dusty are "brothers" and know each other by sight (Dusty nuzzles him when he sees him, and Max sits at Dusty's feet). He follows me around the arena when I ride and if there are other's riding, I make him sit in the corner. He listens so well, and once given a command (like "stay") he won't move... even if a horse is coming right at him! We don't know for sure how old he is, we think he's about 9 years old now. We had to put down out lab a few years ago that I grew up with and it was heartbreaking. I am dreading having to do the same someday with my Max. He's such a special dog!

Our cats are ninja's. That's what we call them. We originally adopted Louie from the SPCA when he was a baby. He was the runt, almost sickly looking, and black. We found out that black cats are the hardest to find homes for, because people are afraid of the "black cat superstition". I find this so ridiculous! While we adopted Louie, we saw so many adult cats that were waiting for homes and it was so sad. We had another cat at the time, Penelope, so we knew we could only get Louie. He was such a goofy kitten that loved sleeping on pillows. The summer after we adopted him, we had to put Penelope down. I'd had her for so long and was really sad. I decided a few months after her death that we would honor our "Penu" by adopting an adult cat from the SPCA. We walked in, with Gage in tow, and asked "which adult cat has been here the longest?" and they pointed to "Batman". We've renamed him Henry, but he definitely suited Batman too. He was a stray, and when we saw him he'd just been neutered (but they had to open his belly up to find the "goods") and he'd just had a cone taken off so he had a bald spot around his neck and he also happens to be missing a tail. Stu held him and after petting him for a few minutes we got a tiny little purr from him. We brought him home and introduced him to Louie. They loved each other from that first moment. 

We don't know Henry's past, or how he lost his tail, but he's decided he is an indoor kitty now and LOVES attention. He and Louie play nonstop (even at 2am, ugh!) and Henry has become Stu's cat. Wherever Stu is, you will find Henry too. Louie has grown to be a HUGE cat, with the biggest paws I've ever seen. Far cry from when he was a tiny little thing! Henry is known for stealing food from cupboards (still in packaging) and eating bricks of butter WHOLE. He's so silly and entertains us to no end. Louie is super clumsy and is known for falling off the couch when he's asleep. He's just a big goofy guy. 

After ending up with 3 awesome animals, I can't imagine not rescuing again. They all have such personality and seem so grateful for ending up with us. 

Time Machine

I've been wanting to write a post since first thing this morning but only just now found the time to sit down at the computer. I have a baby in a bouncy chair beside me, yelling at his Sophie while I rock him with my foot.

Stuart and I are going to raise our boys to stand up for what they believe in. I hope they both find things that they are deeply passionate about and don't let anyone convince them otherwise. I know it is inevitable that both boys will experience heartbreak. They will both have bad days where people tell them things they don't want to hear, they will have someone be mean to them because they don't agree with their opinion or belief. I hope that we can raise them to deal with these situations with grace, respect, and manners.

I was raised to stand up for what I believe in, and to believe in it fiercely. My parents taught my sister and I that material items are not as important as family and friends. We were both raised to be respectful of how others think and feel, whether we agree with it or not. We all raise our children with the example of how we were raised in our minds. There are lots of things my parents instilled in us that I would like to also teach my own children, and there are some things that I'm not going to.

There is a book I read a few years ago that I cried the whole way through but love so much. It's called The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom. It's about a man who dies and meets 5 people that deeply influenced how his life turned out and made him who he is. There is a really special quote in the book that speaks so perfectly for how parents influence their children.

“All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.” 

I read this book before I became pregnant with Gage, and this quote has always stuck with me.

Yesterday I had a really bad day. By dinner I was ready to throw in the towel and just go to bed. One of the many reasons why I love being a mom is that no matter how bad of a day I seem to have, or how ill behaved my kids are, they can just say one little thing and I feel better instantly.

Stu gave Gage a bath and after he got PJ's on he ran to the stairs and yelled down "night night mommy, I love you! Going to sleep now, I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

It just warms my heart! He says "I love you" so randomly and it is so sweet. Today he was quiet for about 15 minutes while I was feeding Finn, so I yelled out "Gage, where are you and what are you doing?" only for him to announce "I'm sitting at the dining room table looking at the gingerbread house and pieces fell off, so I ate them.... and then more pieces kept falling off, so I ate them too!"

I had to laugh.

I hope when Gage and Finn are adults, they can go back and look at their childhoods with happy thoughts and fun stories.

Now back to my reality of snuggling a cranky little baby who is really unhappy with being rocked in a bouncy chair instead of his mama's arms!

Once Again....

I feel like this subject is going to be beat to death over my years as a SAHM.

While I know society has changed a bit and is slightly more accepting of mom's looking to stay home and raise their children instead of working, but I'm finding so much resistence still. Stuart and I got a car recently and while applying for the car loan, I was asked what I do for a living. I responded "I'm a stay at home mom" and was the man at the car dealership went "that's it? anything else?"

I am so very lucky that I have the chance to stay home with my kids. I can't imagine doing anything else. It is challenging, rewarding and exhausting. It is a full time job with no holidays, pay, or even bathroom breaks where I get to be ALONE. I absolutely 100% believe that my children will be better off for having me home with them. If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be a stay at home mom!

Since having children, I've become a different person in so many ways. I used to be shy and never imagined standing up for myself. I would rather walk away from a fight then stand up for what I believe in. Now, I'm an opinionated and extremely blunt bitch. Since giving birth to Finn I've become even worse.

I've mentioned before that my pregnancy with Finn seemed to be an eye opening experience when it came to who my real friends are and who I'm better off without. Because I'm opionated and blunt, I've become used to others disagreeing with my opinion. That is totally fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and they are certainly entitled to disagree with something I say. I'm used to it. Sadly, I've even become used to getting attacked for things I've said. I've developed a thick skin for it. What I am not used to, is not posting anything opionated and blunt, only to be attacked personally for no reason. By someone who doesn't even really know me. Because I'm a stay at home mom.

What's worse is everyone's ability to brush it all off.

If you wrong someone, the ADULT thing to do is apologize. That's the way I was raised. Grown ups realize the harm they've caused, man up and say "I'm sorry". Nothing good comes from brushing it under the rug, it just becomes the elephant in the room.

Apparently I'm one of the few that was raised this way.

I did learn that I have a friend that is fiercely loyal and will not stand to have a friend insulted or humiliated. Loyalty is a good trait to have and one that I value in others.

Once again, although I've previously listed this, if someone posts something on a social networking site that you don't agree with, don't read it. Don't comment. It really is that simple! Social Networking sites are for SHARING. It is inevitable that someone will post something you don't like.

"If only closed minds came with closed mouths".

9 Years Later....

I went out to the barn yesterday for the first time since December 23rd and rode. Dusty met me at the gate, happy to see me (I was even a little suspicious, because this NEVER happens). I think he actually missed me! I used to go long periods without seeing him, because of pregnancy and not having a vehicle, and now I can barely make it a week before I miss him and feel incredibly guilty.

I've been writing a progress report about each ride since mid November. I vaguely think while updating it that I should write about some of the times with him over the last 9 years. It would be nice to read when I'm old and Dusty is long gone. I barely remember some of our early rides together. I started thinking about my relationship with him for the last 9 years, because a friend has been having a difficult time with her stubborn gelding and I told her "don't worry, it gets better" and even said "the victory of accomplishing something you've been working for is that much sweeter when you have a stubborn and difficult horse!". Not that Dusty is "difficult", he's just ridiculously stubborn. He and I used to have lots of battles over the silliest things. I remember him resisting and blocking his jaw when I was just walking in the indoor arena and trying to get him to bend to the inside at the walk. It resulted in a 3 hour ride, which was the ultimate test of who was more stubborn. We never actually got anywhere in these fights. Now, I will ask him for something and if he seems confused by my aids, or I'm not 100% sure we are doing it right, I just pat him and move on to something else.

For example, yesterday we did some turn on the haunches.... which we are awesome at every single time.... but I thought "lets try some turn on the forehand!". I'm not as sure of the aids for it and while he managed to go halfway while pivoting on his forehand, the rest of the way we just went sideways. I just chuckled and patted his neck and moved on to something else. We also went out into the back fields for a winter hack and did some cantering in the fresh snow. It was such a nice day for it! We had lots of fun and while Dusty wanted really badly to gallop and be a goof, he listened to me and never did anything I didn't ask for. We went back to the arena and went to do some canter work after, and he did so so SO well! He really responds to praise, and the more you tell him he's a good boy, the better he does and the harder he tries. He did a flying lead change without becoming disunited (which is rare, because most of the time he seems to forget he has a bum) and so I told him he was a good boy, and then closed my inside fist to ask him to become soft and round, and he RESPONDED by doing so! This is a small victory for most other riders, but for me, it was so much more! I then told him again "good boy!" only for him to become rounder and softer. He then did 3 more flying changes for me, all perfectly.

It's so nice to look back on my relationship with Dusty, and despite the fights and the ups and downs, we seem to have come such a long way. He's seems to understand that I am now making him a priority, and he in turn is trying so much for me. I also think I'm looking at how I ask for things differently, because at the end of the day, my relationship with my horse is so much more important to me then fighting with him over an inside bend at the walk.

I think a lot of my strengthened bond with him has to do with Mattie. I've blogged about him previously and think about him all the time. That whole experience was traumatizing and horrible, but so much good has come from it. Because of his tragic accident that ended his life, I now take such joy in the little things. I stop and pause while I'm at the barn and am so thankful I have a horse that is so good and has so much heart and he's MINE. I always take time to say goodbye to Dusty, and I stand at the gate and watch him walk away. He's even started the habit of going to get something to drink, then he comes back to me at the gate, nudges me goodbye, then walks towards his friends. It's a sweet routine that I love. No matter how much of a rush I'm in to get home to the kids (because usually I lose track of time and have to hurry to feed Finn), I ALWAYS stop and take that moment.

So thanks Mattie, I owe my renewed closeness with Dusty and our special relationship, to you. You taught me so much about myself and about my big chestnut gelding. I'll never ever forget all that I've learned from that horrible day we lost you.

I also wanted to share the exact moment that I decided my horse was going to be mine forever and never go to another home.

I bought Dusty when I was 15, and I was *just* starting to notice boys. I made it out to the barn twice a week even after I started dating my first boyfriend (a feat I'm pretty proud of!) and while I loved Dusty, I never thought far enough ahead to say "I'll never sell him". 8 months into my relationship with my first boyfriend, he broke up with me and started dating a close friend of mine. I was heartbroken. I went to the barn one summer day and as I walked across the grass paddock towards Dusty I started to cry. I got to Dusty, who was grazing away, and I hugged his neck. He stopped eating, didn't try to wiggle away from me once, and just let me stand there. He nuzzled my back while I cried into his neck and gave a sympathetic ear to a teenage girls heartbreak. I poured my heart out to him, while he stood and faithfully let me. From that moment on, he and I decided that he would be mine forever. I get teary eyed when I think of that day, not because of the stupid boy that wasn't worth the tears, but because I really had no idea how lucky I was back then to have such an amazing horse. Over the years, he's continued to give me a sympathetic ear, without fail, whenever I'm having a bad day.

Sick as a dog

I haven't been posting anything in a while, because our whole family got really sick with influenza right before Christmas and it's been brutal. We actually took Finn to the hospital Christmas Eve, not at all how we intended to spend Christmas Eve, because he was sleeping 14+ hours and was so lethargic. I just knew in my gut that he wasn't quite right. We were called in and saw a doctor ahead of anyone else and he was swabbed for influenza. Luckily he peaked at the hospital, so I had nurses there to tell me that he was okay, just a sick little guy. He was monitored for a few hours and then we went home just before Santa came. Gage got it really bad too, coughing so hard he would throw up. Poor guy. It's so hard as a parent watching your children sick. You feel so helpless.

My dad always says that as much as having a sick kid sucks, it's nice how they become so snuggly. That may be true for some kids, but not Gage! He becomes sooo ridiculously whiny! He just whines non-stop about how he wants a million things. "I want sandwiches", "I want juice", "I want kleenex", "wipe my nose" and then he would just grunt. Like a caveman. He USED to be so polite and say "May I please have..." but not anymore!

Stu also at an attempt to occupy a sick little boy, gave Gage his iphone to play games. Now we literally have to pry it out of his sweaty little hands. I wasn't around the first time this happened, or else I would have smacked my husband and taken the phone away from BOTH of them. Ugh!

Getting back into a routine once Stu goes back to work after holidays are done will be really hard.

I've been spending a lot of time researching homeschooling and coming up with a plan on how to do it with Gage. It's been a fun journey so far! I'm really looking forward to it. Sometimes I worry that I might screw something up, but I think as long as I set rules for myself, for example reminding myself constantly to be patient, I will be more then fine. Gage is so smart, we've been doing workbooks for a few months now, just numbers and letters and some math, and he catches on so fast. I'm excited to be a part of this journey with him!

Just like when I tell people we are veggie, I'm expecting some skepticism from people when we tell family and friends that we will be homeschooling. Should be interesting. I'll have to come up with some tongue and cheek responses!