I'm a stay at home mom. I went on my year of maternity with Gage, and instead of going back to work at a job that I absolutely hated, I stayed home. We had to make sacrifices in order to do it, but we manage. While I by no means have anything against working mom's, I just felt like it was a better choice for my son. I know all mom's (or most that I've talked to) have said how hard it is to tear themselves away after 1 year with their baby to go back to work, and how hard it is to drop them off at daycare and walk away. While that is part of the reason why I didn't go back to work, I also couldn't bear the thought of someone else taking part in raising my child, and getting to bear witness to the little things that I would miss while working.
I did briefly look into going back to work. I figured we wouldn't financially survive unless I did, so I began the process of looking for daycares. I found a few "at home" daycares that interested me, but I found another obstacle because of our vegetarian diet. Each daycare insisted that I pay the regular daily fee/weekly fee and then also provided my own food for each day that Gage went to them. At the time, he was also lactose intolerant so unable to consume dairy. I found that so frustrating on top of everything else. We had to move in with my parents in order for me to stay home full time, and Stuart became the sole provider for our family and had(s) a lot sitting on his shoulders.
We have enough to go around for each of us, and while we don't have a flatscreen tv, fancy clothes or regular haircuts (for me anyways!) we have food in our fridge and our bills are all current. I'm sure if I went back to work, we would accomplish a lot more financially and be able to achieve our dream of buying a house with property sooner. But when I think of the little things I would miss each day just because I want a house a year earlier or nice clothes, I couldn't do it. Every morning Gage comes stumbling sleepily into my room and climbs into bed with me with a "morning mommy". We eat breakfast together and play games and read books together and sing songs. While I have things I do each day around the house, like cleaning (and there's always A LOT of cleaning, we have a big house!), laundry, cooking etc, I always make time to sit with Gage and do letters of the alphabet and drawing pictures and telling stories. I don't want anyone else doing that stuff with him! He has playdates with other little boys his age, and is not at all behind socially. My husband comes home each day to a clean house with clean laundry and food waiting for him and a big hug from a clean 2 year old.
Since being pregnant, sometimes my daily chores are a challenge, and I know it will continue to be so after this baby is born. 2 kids will be harder to keep up with! I dread what my house will look like during the first few weeks following birth. I can't wait to get a routine down!
I have a friend that has her child in daycare. While she financially doesn't HAVE to work to get by because of what her husband does for a living, she chooses to just to have lots of money. Her kid has a ridiculous amount of toys and clothes and defends how spoiled her child is to the 10th degree. Her kid is a good kid, a little rambunctious and gets away with a lot, but I think a lot of it is the "only child syndrome" that I certainly know I went through myself until my sister came along when I was 6 years old. I just feel like even though we don't give Gage lavish gifts for his birthday and Christmas, and he has a moderate amount of toys and clothes, he gets so much more by me being home. I find that with my friends that work and have children, it is as though they feel guilty for putting their children in daycare so instead they spoil them with material items. That is not at all how I want to raise my child. I think the most shocking thing for me was learning that parents (some, not all) or I should say "the tooth fairy" leaves $10 and even $20 bills for teeth nowadays! Those kids will grow up expecting an allowance of $100 a week! I want my children to grow up learning the value of a dollar, so "the tooth fairy" will be leaving toonies for teeth at my house!
My mom was a stay at home mom for 17 years. I think my sister and I benefited a lot by having her home with us, especially in the beginning. She went back to work after 17 years though, and is currently working at a job she hates and struggles to find something better because of such a large gap in her work history. I refuse to let myself stay home for that long, my plan is to go back to work by the time this youngest baby (who will definitely be our last baby!) starts school. I plan on doing online courses starting 2013 for a career that I passionately love. Being a stay at home mom has taught me that life isn't worth living if you are going to a job everyday that you hate. Not only that, but it taught me that if you want something, you can make it happen. Only you are in charge of your destiny and your goals and where you want to be in a few years. My biggest pet peeve is when people complain about the job they have. Hate it? Get a new one! Don't have the training/qualifications to do what you love? Find a way! It IS possible!
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