Half Full

I'm naturally a negative person. The moment things get tough for me, I automatically assume the worst. In everyone and any situation. I've been trying so hard to change this lately, and here is why:

I started thinking a few weeks ago (I believe it was a random quote on Pinterest that started the thought) that as a parent, I need to lead as an example for my sons. I need to live by example, to live my life everyday and think everyday exactly how I'd want them to live and think. My negative "glass-is-half-empty-the-world-is-ending-because-I'm-having-a-bad-day" attitude is not something I want them to develop. It has stopped so many GOOD things from coming my way, has stretched as far as introducing so many angry thoughts and actions over the years and even gone as far as affecting my self-esteem. I don't want that for my children.

I've have to sometimes stop myself after every thought and tell myself that things really are not that bad. That things could absolutely get worse (because really, the moment you say "things can't possibly get any worse" they inevitably get much worse), that I am lucky to have so many beautiful people in my life and that I am healthy and smart and funny and my LIFE is beautiful. Things always find a way to work themselves out.

Today I had to remind myself of this. No matter how dark it seems, there is always some kind of light nearby. Usually that light shines a little faster and brighter if we are positive with our thoughts and actions.

As a mother, I'm sure other mom's understand when I say sometimes I just have a "bad mom day". Where both kids are miserable (either for a known reason or unknown) and I'm tired, my "to-do" list is literally a mile long and I just want to sit in my bathroom and cry. With cookies. It's those days that thinking positive about my situation seems impossible. Then I look at my boys, realize how lucky I am to have them call me "mama" and that I am a strong, independent woman and the only person on this earth capable of solving their problems and healing whatever issue they are having that makes them grumpy. Some mom's aren't so lucky to have beautiful and healthy children to take care of (that thought totally comes from my mom telling me as a kid to eat my veggies at dinner because some kids in Africa are starving).

This morning my kids woke me up at 4am. They have been humongous grumpy pants since then. While at my wits end, I realized that hard as it is to believe now, I will one day miss the pitter-patter of little feet (we call Gage a baby elephant) to my bed at 4am saying "mom, make me a sandwich".

Or at least I tell myself I *might* miss it. Right now it's a little hard to believe!