I was a little hesitant at first to post about this particular subject because I don't want to air any "dirty laundry" and make things any worse then they already are. But I do find blogging to be somewhat therapeutic and I think sometimes you just need to write things out.
I have a particular friend that I've had for a really long time. We grew up together and I went through a lot of those "teenage milestones" with this friend. We share the same love for horses (and animals in general) and I have a lot of good memories with this person. Recently, I've been let down a lot by this friend. We had a falling out, which we could both just call a bad day where we shouldn't have talked and we went a while without speaking. Months later, she reached out and contacted me again. She apologized for being a bad friend and swore she wouldn't be like that again. I forgave her and we tried to just be the same as we always were. A lot of my other friends, and family, disagreed with me forgiving her. By "a lot", I mean everyone I know. My husband said "it'll just happen again". I brushed them all off, because I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Now, a few months later, I find myself in a similar situation. I feel as though I'm a really good friend to her. Whenever she has a bad day or "boy issues" I'm her sounding board. I do my best to pick up the pieces and make her day better. She leads a busy life, and is really career driven. I get all that. Whenever she plans a visit (I never ask her, because of her schedule) she tells me the time she'll stop by (or we'll plan to go to the barn together) and I'll wake up that day excited to get out of the house and talk to my friend.
In the last 2 weeks she's forgotten our plans 3 times. The last time was yesterday, she was supposed to stop by for a tea late afternoon and I never heard from her.
I've long since stopped texting/calling and asking "did you forget about me?" because I know she'll just go "oh shit!" and make an excuse and reschedule only to forget again. If she even answers her phone or responds to my text in the first place.
I'm a really blunt person and I never sugar coat anything. It's gotten me into trouble previously with friends, and all my closest friends know that when they ask me for an opinion, they are going to get my FULL opinion. If this was any other friend, I would be the first to throw my hands in the air and say "forget it then". For some reason, I'm incapable of doing that with this friend. She's my oldest friend and I always thought she would make the time for me. It hurts me more then I can say that she's obviously not making her "best friend" a priority. If I mention any of this to her, or if she were to ever read this post, I know she'd immediately become defensive. She'd find some excuse or say I'm not being "understanding" enough. I don't think this time around she can blame me for being too blunt or not understanding enough. I've tried to be a good friend.
I have some really great friends in my life that are there for me when I need them. I think if this friend in particular were no longer my friend, I wouldn't miss out on much. It makes me sad, but she doesn't bring anything to the table that I'm not getting anywhere else. In fact, she's probably one of the last people I'd go to if I needed a friend.
I think the next time I get a text or message asking if I'm up for a tea or visit on a day next week, I'll just simply say that I already have plans. It seems to be the best thing I can do to avoid disappointment.
....On another note, I'm wearing maternity pants today! It's been really hot lately for March. Today is 21C outside! I've been sticking to my typical yoga pants lately just because they are comfy and I've felt so sick lately. But with the heat, I needed shorts or capris and the only capris I have that fit me are maternity! I think I'll need to go to Old Navy soon to see what tank tops I can find, all the ones I wear normally are getting a little short. It's strange to be showing so early, with Gage I didn't show until I was almost 6 months along. Yikes!
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